Higher EDucation
by otalku17
Summary: Ed, Edd, and Eddy have been together through many adventures. But what would happen if their parents sent the trio to the toughest school on the face of the planet, Bullworth Academy? Rated T for language and mild violence. No pairings, sorry, but to keep you entertained, I'm throwing in a few go-nowhere romance side stories for the laughs. Here's to hoping this gets over.
1. Not What you PlannEd

**Hey, how ya doin'? Not a big secret about me, but I, like many, was a big fan of _Ed, Edd, 'n' Eddy_ growing up. Another well known fact is that I play a lot of video games, as many of you readers probably do. So, taking a page out of ol' Reese's Playbook, I took two things people like and combined them to make an experimental piece of fan fiction. So, what happens when you get _Ed, Edd, 'n' Eddy_ into a game like _Bully_? Well, you get a little something I like to call _Higher EDucation_...heh heh. Get it?**

**Side note to anyone who's already familiar with my other works: The reason I'm starting this project on top of my other projects is because I'm going to be doing something very time consuming in the future, and I'll be so far away from a computer that I might forget how to type. And I've always wanted to write a story staring the Eds. If you aren't familiar with the other things that I do...then ignore all that BS and enjoy.**

**Side side note: I keep forgetting to do this crap, but I don't own EEnE or Bully. They belong to Danny Antonucci and Rockstar Productions, respectively.**

* * *

At a house on the end of a suburban cul-de-sac, four adults sat in the living room while their children socialized in a basement decorated with various movie posters and model monsters. Sitting at a desk littered with painting supplies and an unfinished model of a four-headed dragon was a tall, teenage boy in a green jacket who was carefully selecting the paint he wanted. In the blue arm-chair facing the TV was a shorter boy who clicked the remote idly. After seeing _Fishbowl II_ come on the fifteenth channel, he tossed the remote behind him and stood up.

"This can't be good," he muttered. "Our parents never get together like this unless we're all in trouble. Did they find my book of scams? Did Sarah rat us out again? ED!" The tall boy looked behind him, an orange paint streak going down the right side of his face. He smiled back at his friend, oblivious to how he looked.

"Yes, Eddy?" he asked.

"Did you hear anything from your parents about what's going on upstairs?" Eddy pried. Ed scratched his head with his paint brush, spreading the paint throughout his hair. He stopped and a large grin spread across his face.

"Nope," he said simply. Eddy groaned in frustration as his friend went back to painting.

"If Double D were here, he'd know what was going on upstairs...well, speak of the Sockhead." Eddy's train of thought was interrupted at the sight of their friend knocking on the basement window.

"Greetings, fellows," he said from outside the window. "Ed, would you please unlock the window so that I may enter? I have big news for you all." Ed got up from his desk, overjoyed that his group of friends was complete once again.

"HIYA, DOUBLE D!" he shouted as he opened his window. He grabbed his friend and pulled him through. In Ed's usual way, he had put too much effort into helping his friend and accidentally tossed him into a pile of dirty laundry.

"Oops," Ed muttered as Eddy burst out into laughter. Double D stood up from the pile, disgust clear on his face as he peeled off the undergarments from his red shirt and purple shorts.

"Ed, didn't your parents teach you how to do your laundry?" he asked as he pulled a pair of rubber gloves out of his pocket and placed them on his hands to begin sorting the pile of clothes. Ed stared off into space with a vacant smile on his face. Eddy walked up and waved his hand in front of Ed's face.

"Earth to Lumpy," he said. "Have you learned the ways of cleaning the pit stains out of your shirt?" Ed snapped out of his trance and stared at his inquiring friends.

"Well, _Interplanetary Pirates vs. Ninjas from Andromeda 7.2 _was on that night," he began to explain, only to have Eddy give himself a face palm while Double D set the clothes into a basket.

"Neglecting one's chores to watch a B-movie that you have seen time and time again is not a valid excuse, Ed," Double D explained as he disposed of his protective gloves.

"Says you," Ed said defiantly, sticking his tongue out. Double D rolled his eyes and turned to Eddy.

"Anyways," he began, "I came here with my parents, who are currently upstairs talking to..." The moment Double D mentioned the word "parents", Eddy snapped his fingers.

"Right," he interrupted. "Do you have any idea why our parents are together up there, Sockhead?"

"Eddy, it's rude to interrupt!" Double D scolded. "However, to answer your question, I'm not sure why our parents have decided to meet, but I'm sure that the reason is social and not in any way related for another group punishment." Eddy breathed a sigh of relief, while Ed picked up his voodoo mask and began prancing around his room.

"That's a relief," Eddy said. "Alright, now that we got that out of the way, you got something to tell us?" Double D smiled and nodded.

"Right," he said. "As you know, my greatest asset as well as the source of all my achievements have stemmed from the academic world."

"Here we go..." Eddy groaned.

"Now, while Peach Creek has provided me with ample opportunity to grow mentally, I have felt that expanding my horizons would be an inevitable journey for me to take," the sock headed teen explained, ignoring his friend's complaints. "Well, it seems that I shall be taking said journey sooner than I expected." This caused Ed and Eddy to snap into focus and stare at their friend, who wore a small, but proud, smile on his face.

"What do you mean?" Ed said as he lifted his mask off of his face.

"Well, it seems my transcripts had reached the eyes of the headmaster of a private academy in the New England area," Double D said. "He was impressed with what he saw and has invited me to attend the school with an academic scholarship! I leave tomorrow to start my classes." The smartest Ed watched as both his friends immediately turned away from him. Ed's shoulders began to shudder as if he were holding back sobs, while Eddy started to fiddle with his wallet chain.

"Guys?" Double D asked. "What's wrong?" Ed immediately turned around and put his friend into a bear hug. Double D gasped for air, while Ed began to cry.

"DON'T LEAVE US, DOUBLE D!" he cried. "WHO'S GONNA BUILD THE SCAMS?! WHO'S GONNA HELP ME SOLVE X PLUS Y EQUALS Z?! WHO'S GONNA BE THE VOICE OF REASON FOR OUR WILD ADVENTURES?!"

"Yeah, Double D," Eddy added. "You don't need to go to some fancy school. Just stick around here. We'll scam the kids out of some money for more books if that's what you need."

"While I appreciate the offer, Eddy," Double D coughed, "I must insist...Ed, please release me." Ed loosened his hug on his friend, wiping his nose as he slumped his shoulders.

"Thank you, Ed," Double D said. "Now, while this does mean that I will have to leave Peach Creek, it doesn't mean that we can't still stay in touch. I'll send you an address to send letters, or you could ask your parents to visit sometime. This isn't the end of our friendship. Now, if you'll excuse me, I suddenly have the urge to relieve myself." Double D made his way to Ed's bathroom, allowing his friends to speak their minds.

"What are we gonna do, Eddy?" Ed asked nervously. "Double D's going to go away and leave us all alone!"

"No duh, Monobrow," Eddy said. "But what can we do? He's set on going to this school."

"But Eddy..." Ed whined. "Double D's gonna be all alone out there. Without his bestest friends to keep him away from the villains and monsters in a strange land, he might not survive!"

"Ed, there's no such thing as monsters!" Eddy sighed. While this caused Ed's frown to deepen, Eddy suddenly began to smile slyly.

"But there are the handful of the usual jerks and tools that'll give a soft nerd like Double D a hard time," Eddy said. "And if there's one thing that'll change his mind about going away, it's knowing that he'd be the target to some bullying." The sound of a flush echoed in the basement, alerting Eddy that Double D would be back out as soon as he finished washing his hands.

"Follow my lead, Frankenstein," Eddy said. Ed sniffled and nodded, and the duo stood around the desk as Double D strolled out.

"Thank goodness you at least remembered to clean your bathroom after the movie, Ed," Double D joked. "Now, if you two are still worried about..."

"Forget about it, Sockhead," Eddy interrupted. "Me and Ed are happy for you. We won't hold you back. Ain't that right, Ed?" Ed stared off into the distance, a sad look still evident on his face. Eddy gave his side a quick nudge with his elbow, bringing his friend back to reality.

"If Double D is happy, then so is Ed," he unenthusiastically said. Double D stood dumbfounded, shocked that his friends would change their minds about him leaving that quickly.

"Thank you, Eddy," Double D finally said. "It's good to know that I have the support of my two best friends."

"Hey, what are friends for?" Eddy said as he got up to put Double D into a headlock. He gave him a quick noogie, while Ed began to jump onto his bed.

"DOGPILE!" he shouted. He then jumped towards his friends and landed on them in a body press, his massive weight bringing Eddy and Double D down to the ground. After a little rough housing, the trio eventually broke it up.

"I win again!" Ed shouted as he pumped both fists into the air. Eddy immediately grabbed his arms and pulled them back down to his sides.

"If Jimmy had your funky pits, I'm sure that even he'd win a dog pile," he quipped.

"No one can match my smell, Eddy," Ed said, breaking out into laughter. This caused Eddy to chuckle, soon followed by Double D.

"So, Sockhead," Eddy said, "Tell us more about this school of yours."

"Well, I have a pamphlet right here," Double D said as he reached into his pocket. "I'm sure that you'll find all the information you could need..." He was cut off as Eddy swiped the pamphlet from his hands.

"Details, details," he muttered as Ed peered over his shoulder. He noticed the pamphlet was a dark blue with a golden crest on the center. It was a shield divided into fourths with ivy vines on the sides and a bull's head on the top. There was a fist in the upper left corner of the shield, a snake in the upper right, a skull in the lower right, and a rat in the lower left. At the bottom were two banners that read "Bullworth Academy" and something that Ed and Eddy couldn't understand.

"What's this mumbo jumbo at the bottom?" Eddy asked.

"That is Latin, Eddy," Double D explained. "Many schools and a few families that have crests like that have Latin mottos. This one, _Canis Canem Edit_, translates into 'Dog Eat Dog.'"

"Dogs eat kibble, Double D," Ed explained. "Everyone knows that." Double D shook his head, while Eddy nodded in agreement.

"And this school's giving you a smart kid scholarship?" he said. "Seems like Ed could be your competition over there."

"Ha ha ha," Double D sarcastically laughed. "Other than the motto, tell me what you think of the school." Eddy watched as Ed snatched the pamphlet out of his hands and began to look it over.

TIME TO PUT MY PLAN INTO ACTION, Eddy thought.

"That name of the school seems kinda familiar," he said, scratching his chin. "Bullworth, wasn't it?"

"Correct," Double D affirmed. Eddy immediately took on a fearful look, which caused Double D to worry.

"Double D, I didn't know you were so brave," he said.

"W-w-what do you mean, E-e-eddy?" Double D stuttered.

"My brother told me stories about that school," he lied. "Apparently, that school has the most bullying problems than any other school in the country." Double D began to look nervously around the room, sweat pouring down his face.

"How preposterous," he said. "I'm sure that a prestigious school like Bullworth Academy has a proper discipline system to prevent such incidents from occurring."

"That's the worst part, Double D," Eddy said. "The teachers encourage the kids to beat the hell out of each other! Something about toughening the students up for life in the real world. I know that I wouldn't want to go there, that's for sure. Well, at least you'll come back harder than a jawbreaker." Double D felt his knees begin to shake, his hands started to sweat, and the hairs on the back of his neck stand up. He knew that he wouldn't be able to survive if what Eddy said was true, and at that moment he wasn't ready to give the benefit of the doubt.

"GOOD LORD!" he shouted as he threw his hands up into the air. "I CAN'T ATTEND A SCHOOL THAT SUSCRIBES TO SUCH MADNESS!" Eddy chuckled to himself as he watched his friend breathe into a brown paper bag. Ed looked up to see the panic-stricken Double D, and scratched his head.

"What's the matter, Double D?" he asked.

"I have agreed to enter a school that will be the end of me," Double D said between breaths. "If I had any idea that Bullworth would be like this, I would've turned them down! I'll trade this fate for an eternity serving the Kankers!" His last statement caused Ed and Eddy to stare back at him in shock.

"Geez, Double D, you must be desperate," Eddy commented. "Well, you're in luck, 'cuz Eddy is here to help."

"You know of a way to get me out of going to this school?" Double D asked.

"Let me answer your question with another question," Eddy said as he jumped onto Ed's bed. "Who's the man with the plan?"

"Eddy!" Ed and Double D shouted simultaneously.

"That's right," Eddy said, hopping down towards them. "And I'll get you out of going to Bullworth, or my name isn't Eddy." As the trio stood there, the basement door slammed open causing them to turn around fast. They saw Ed's little sister, Sarah, standing at the door with her friend Jimmy. She had her hands on her hips, while Jimmy rubbed his newly bandaged arm.

"ED!" Sarah screamed. "Mom said you and the other Eds needed to get your butts upstairs now!"

"Alright, alright," Eddy moaned. "Keep the volume down, Loud Mouth." Sarah began to seethe, while Jimmy grabbed her by the arm.

"Come on, Sarah," he said. "Let's just go upstairs. Mr. Yum Yum has invited his friends over for tea." The duo immediately made their way up the stairs while the Eds slowly followed. They made a turn towards the living room and noticed their parents sitting in various locations.

Ed's father sat in his easy chair like he preferred to do after work. He wore a green button down shirt with a red undershirt, blue jeans, and black work boots. His hair was short, messy, and like his goatee and chest hair, red. Ed's mother sat on the far end of the couch, wearing her usual pink dress and white apron. She kept her blonde hair tied up with a white ribbon and wore sensible pink heels.

"HI, MOM! HI, DAD!" Ed shouted joyously.

"Hey, Ed," his father said. "Come on in and take a load off." Ed ran to the foot of his dad's chair and sat down indian style.

Double D's parents sat on the remaining spaces of the couch. His mother wore a form fitting green dress, red stockings, and blue heels. She kept her black hair in a bun, letting one strand drape down the right side of her face. Double D's father was wearing his favorite yellow sports jacket, white button down shirt with a red bow tie, purple stripped slacks, brown framed glasses, and brown loafers. His greying black hair was combed back and his mustache was waxed to keep it neat.

"Greetings, Mother and Father," Double D said with a polite tone.

"Hello, Eddward," his mother smiled. "Would you please join us?" Double D walked towards his parents and sat between them.

Eddy's parents had grabbed seats from the kitchen table and brought them into the living room. Being that they were large in stature, they barely fit in their seats. Eddy's father wore a light blue polo with light brown intersecting stripes, dark blue slacks, and grey tennis shoes. He shared Eddy's facial structure and stringy black hair, which had also spread to his chin and arms. Eddy's mother wore her favorite yellow dress with orange vertical stripes that stopped just above her knees and red heels. She, like Ed's mother, had blonde hair, but let it droop down to her shoulders.

"Hey, Mini Me," Eddy's father chuckled. "What's shaking?" The nickname caused Eddy to groan in disgust.

"Come on, Dad," he muttered, "Don't call me that in front of the guys..."

"Alright, then," his father said as he patted the empty chair in between him and his wife. "Pop a squat, Squirt." Eddy scowled as he made his way to the chair and hopped up.

"Well, I'm sure that you kids are wondering what we're all doing up here," Ed's mother said, causing Ed to look up at her nervously.

"We didn't do anything wrong, Mom!" he pleaded. "Honest and truly! I was doing my laundry the whole time!" As he said that, his father rubbed his head.

"Yeah, after Interplanetary _Pirates vs Ninjas from Andromeda 7.2_ was done, right?" he joked. "Tell me, did the ninja's use their laser shuriken or did they rely on their asteroid nun chucks?" Ed perked up at being reminded about the movie, and opened his mouth to answer.

"Quit encouraging him, honey," Ed's mother said.

"And no, you three aren't in trouble," Eddy's mother added. "...Well, not this time, anyway."

"Well, what are you guys doing up here then?" Eddy asked.

"Well, Eddy," Double D's father began. "As Eddward has likely made known, he has been accepted to Bullworth Academy on an academic scholarship." The three Eds began to sulk at the reminder of Double D's fate.

"Eddward, what's wrong?" Double D's mother asked. "When we got the letter, you were ecstatic about the opportunity to go to a larger school setting and expand your learning horizons."

"Well, about that..." Double D began to say. Eddy, fearing that Double D would mention the bullying story, jumped up out of his seat.

"Me and Ed don't want Double D to go!" he shouted, getting the attention of every adult focused on him. Ed immediately got up and joined Eddy in the center of the room.

"If you send Double D away, then we will no longer be a three!" he said. "We will be toast and Chunky Puffs without the gravy. Two heads of a three-headed monster. Fin and Fang without the Foom!" The adults turned their attention towards Double D, who was staring down at his shoes.

"And do you feel the same way, Eddward?" Double D's mother asked. Double D nodded in agreement.

"Yes, Mother," Double D said. "After talking with Ed and Eddy, I feel that I wouldn't survive without them."

"Survive?" Double D's father repeated.

"Yes, sir," he said. "Eddy informed me of Bullworth's reputation for student-on-student violence as a manner of character building." Every adult looked towards Eddy, who was smiling sheepishly.

"And where did you hear this, Eddy?" Eddy's mother asked him.

"Bro told me," Eddy lied. At the mentioning of their other son, Eddy's father smacked his forehead.

"I swear, sometimes it'd be worth the gas money just to knock a lick of sense into him," he muttered. "Those lies of his always get you twisted."

"What do you mean, Dad?" Eddy asked innocently.

"Well, boys," Double D's mother began, "I have talked to the headmaster of the school, Doctor Crabblesnitch, and he assures that they are very strict with any troublemakers." Ed and Eddy began snickering at the mentioning of the name "Crabblesnitch". Even Double D felt himself smile in amusement.

"Guy's name is Crabblesnitch?" Ed's father chuckled, causing his wife to shoot him a glare. He shrugged it off, causing her to shake her head.

"That's another thing that we need to talk about," Ed's mother said.

"What, Mom?" Ed asked.

"This school is well known for their rules," she explained. "Getting kids focused on their school work and keeping them out of trouble are their topmost priorities." Ed and Eddy looked towards Double D to find answers, but found their smart friend shrugging.

"What do you mean?" Eddy asked slowly.

"Well, Squirt, it's no secret that you and your friends are infamous for the mischief you make around the neighborhood," Eddy's father said. "And your grades aren't going to be posted on the fridge anytime soon." Ed chuckled at the jokes made at Eddy's expense.

"Don't laugh too hard, Ed," his mother warned. "You're not doing any better than Eddy."

"But Mom, Double D's been helping me get better," Ed protested, prompting Eddy to launch another argument.

"Me too!" he shouted. "And if you send him away, who's gonna help us?"

"I don't think you're getting where we're going with this," Eddy's mother said.

"Well, pardon my questioning, ma'am," Double D said. "But what exactly are you trying to say?" The adults smiled coyly, causing the three Eds to look around the room nervously.

"Well, we called the school," Ed's father explained. "According to Doctor...heh heh...Crabblesnitch, he said that he'd make an exception on his admission requirements for two more students."

"Two more students?" Ed repeated.

"Yes," Double D's father said as he adjusted his glasses. "Two more students that he believes would benefit from becoming apart of the Bullworth family."

"They're adopting kids now?" Eddy asked. "I feel sorry for the two suckers they get ahold of."

"Well, go buy a pint of ice cream and break out the tissues, son," Eddy's father told him with a smirk. "Cause they're getting Ed and you."

"WHAT?!" Eddy shouted, while Ed began to smile wide. He ran over to Double D and grabbed him by the arm, dragging him towards Eddy. He grabbed his two friends in a bear hug and spun them around.

"That's right," Double D's mother said. "Doctor Crabblesnitch has accepted you two along with Eddward to start the next school year."

"We shall stay a three! Eddy, Double D, and me!" Ed rhymed. Little did they know, Sarah and Jimmy had eavesdropped on the conversation. They ran into the living room with huge smiles on their faces.

"So Ed and his stupid friends are going away for a whole year, Mommy?" Sarah asked eagerly.

"Sarah, you shouldn't be so mean to your brother," her mother said with a wagging finger. "But yes, they'll be going to a new school."

"Christmas has come early, Sarah!" Jimmy said. "Come on, girlfriend. Everyone should hear the wonderful news!" The two kids ran out the front door, leaving Ed staring vacantly out the window, Double D frowning, Eddy scowling, and the parents confused.

"Well, you guys are gonna be leaving tomorrow," Eddy's father started. "I'm driving, so make sure you're ready to go by nine. I ain't turning around until I drop you off."

"Yes, sir," Double D nodded. "Are we excused to pack now?" The parents collectively nodded, and watched as their sons walked out the door. The three friends stood in the center of the Cul-de-Sac.

"Oh boy, guys," Ed said gleefully. "We're going to go fight the monsters and villains of Bullworth!"

"Ed, weren't you paying attention to what our parents said?" Double D asked.

"Nope," Ed answered with a smile.

"They said that there are no reasons to worry about bullying at Bullworth," Double D told his dim-witted friend. "We'll be free to study in a new environment without any fears. Oh, isn't it exhilarating, Eddy?" They turned their attention to Eddy, who was still scowling.

"The plan was to get you to stay here, Double D," he said. "Now we're all stuck going to some stuffy school with new teachers, new classes, and new...students." Eddy immediately perked up at the thought of an entire student body who wouldn't know anything about the Eds scamming methods.

"On second though, a new flock of pigeons wouldn't be a bad thing after all," Eddy said, rubbing his hands together.

"To each their own, I suppose," Double D said, rolling his eyes.

"Wait, guys," Ed said. "What about the kids? Do you think they will miss us?" As he said that, the sound of cheers came from the lane.

"The no-good, how-may-I-scam-you-today Ed boys are leaving tomorrow for a full cycle of the seasons?" Rolf's voice rang out. "Ho Ho! This brings joy to the son of a shepherd!"

"Plank says, 'Good riddance those guys won't be around to rip us off anymore!'" Jonny said for his mute friend.

"Dork free, finally," Kevin shouted. "Party at my house!" The Eds heard cheers following Kevin's declaration.

"I believe that they will be just fine without us, Ed," Double D said in a solemn voice.

"Never thought I'd say this, but I can't wait to go to school tomorrow," Eddy groaned.

* * *

**Time to give credit where credit is due. The parents' designs are based off of Vampire Meerkat's (TheBestKindOfFailure if you're familiar with her YouTube work or Dee Rhymz as she goes by on FanFiction) most recent renditions of their designs. Not sure if I'm allowed to do that, but seeing as how neither of us own EEnE, I'm sure that it falls into some fair use law. To cover my ass, though, time for some shameless plugging. Go to her DeviantArt page, check all her work, follow her(on the internet, no stalking or creepy/perverted stuff), support _Ed, Edd, n Eddy: Highschool_, watch her YouTube videos, wish her a Merry Christmas, check her blog, and give her stories a look see. Hope that makes us square.**

**Now that I took care of that, it's time to go to you. How did you like this story? Does it have any potential, or is it DOA? Let me know in one of those sweet, sweet reviews.**

**Peace.**


	2. A Fond Farewell? Yeah, Right

**This one might be a slow one. Next chapter will start the action. Scouts honor.**

**Enjoy.**

* * *

Double D stood outside Eddy's house, a small suitcase filled with the essential items that the school recommended that new students bring. He set down his case and pulled a pad and pen with the list of items on it and opened the bag to give a thorough inspection.

"Let's see..." he said aloud. "Pajamas, check. Spare undergarments, check. Toiletries, check. Envelopes, check. Stamps, check. Notebook paper, check. Pens and pencils, check." He smiled as he placed his checklist back into his pocket and closed his suitcase with care. He looked up to see Ed was walking his way, dragging a worn potato sack behind him. As soon as he saw Double D, his smile grew larger and he began to run towards his friend.

"HEY, DOUBLE D!" he shouted as he dropped his bag and scooped his friend up for a hug. Double D quickly patted his friend on his back in an attempt to cut the back-breaking hug short.

"Good morning to you, too, Ed," Double D gasped. "May I be let down now?" Ed obliged, dropping his friend onto the sidewalk. He grabbed his sack and patted its side with a grin.

"I packed everything I need, Double D!" Ed proudly said. "Just like you told me." He began to untie the sack's knot while Double D brushed himself off.

"Very good, Ed," he said with a smile. "It's good to see that this experience has allowed you to learn about following instructions." Double D's sense of pride in his friend was quickly extinguished by the feeling of surprise as he discovered that Ed's bag was filled with gravy mix, comic books, and Baron of Beefdip.

"Do you think I should've brought more gravy?" Ed asked. Double D responded by shaking his head.

"Ed, you were supposed to pack clothes, toiletries, and various school supplies..." Double D cut himself off as Ed stared blankly at him. He realized that his simple-minded friend wouldn't truly understand what he was saying. Instead, Double D simply smiled and patted Ed on the head.

"I'm sure that this will be just enough for the semester, Ed," he assured his friend. Ed hugged himself in glee, then proceeded to close his bag. As he finished, he looked around for Eddy, frowning slightly as his search failed.

"Where's Eddy?" he asked.

"I'm sure that he's making sure he packed everything he could need," Double D said. Ed shrugged and sat down on the sidewalk. Double D noticed that his happy-go-lucky friend had started to look like he was worried.

"Ed, is everything alright?" Double D asked as he took a seat next to his friend. Ed didn't look up for a few seconds, instead he looked at his shoes. When he finally turned his gaze to his friend, concern was evident in his eyes.

"We've never been anywhere other than here, Double D," he said. "What's gonna happen when we get there and we don't like it?" The sock-headed boy was shocked at how honest and focused Ed had been when he expressed his concerns.

"Well, Ed," Double D began. "I have the utmost confidence that we can turn Bullworth Academy into a place that we can call home."

"Like a wizard!?" Ed asked, excited at the thought of practicing magic.

"No, Ed," Double D sighed. "Metaphorically, we can turn Bullworth into our home. All that you, myself, and Eddy need to do is stick together and we'll overcome any possible obstacle." The two shared a friendly smile as the front door to Eddy's house slammed open. They turned to see Eddy dragging a rolling suitcase down the path to the driveway while his father followed behind him.

"Alright, boys," Eddy's father bellowed as he went to the trunk of his car. "Load up!" The three boys dutifully grabbed their luggage and walked towards the trunk. Before they could place their bags, all the other kids in the Cul-de-Sac had appeared around the Eds. Eddy's father looked at his watch and gave a shrug.

"Guess we got time to spare," he muttered. "Go on and say good-bye to your friends, Mini Me." Eddy scowled, but shrugged it off. As Eddy's father walked back inside his house, Eddy joined his friends as they approached the crowd of kids.

"About time you dorks got outta here," Kevin said with a smirk. Eddy felt himself go red with anger at that comment. Double D and Ed, rather, kept their composure. As Eddy was about to tell Kevin off, Nazz stepped in between the two.

"Uncool, Kev," she said. She then turned to face the Eds with a smile that caused them to sweat and blush.

"Good luck, you guys!" she said as she gave each of them a quick hug. "Don't get into too much trouble." She gave them a friendly wink, immediately turning their legs into jelly. The three friends simultaneously swooned and fell onto their backs, causing Nazz to giggle. Jonny, carrying Plank, came to Eddy and pulled him up with his free arm, prompting the other Eds to pick themselves up.

"Me and Plank wanted to say that we hope you guys will have some fun at your new school," Jonny said with a toothy grin.

"Thanks, Baldy," Eddy said. Jonny nodded his head and then put his wooden companion to his ear.

"What's that Plank..." he then pulled Plank away and faced the Eds "Oh, and Plank says to make sure to not get anyone upset."

"W-what do you mean, 'Anyone'?" Double D stammered. Jonny pulled Plank to his ear again, making Eddy roll his eyes and groan lightly. Jonny nodded and turned to face the Eds.

"Oh, the usual," Jonny began. "Guys that play sports and have really big muscles, kids with the brains to come up with all kinds of humiliation, dudes that act like punks from the 50's, people with enough money to get away with anything, and others who just like to beat up on small people like us."

Double D legs started to shake violently as his brow was sweating profusely. He started to fall over, but Ed put caught him and pulled him back up. Eddy shook his head at his hysterical friend then turned to face Jonny.

"Thanks for the tip, Melon Head," Eddy said dryly as he patted Jonny's shoulder.

"WHO TOLD YOU?!" Jonny shouted. He clutched Plank and ran back towards his house. Eddy turned back to Ed and Double D, giving them a shrug. His friends returned the gesture and the trio silently decided to chalk it up to Jonny's overactive imagination.

"Ed boys!" Rolf shouted as he approached the Eds. He was carrying a sack that was dripping some liquid. He placed it into Eddy's hands, who was so disgusted that he threw the bag at Ed.

"In Rolf's home country, the relocation of the village menace was marked by giving the freshest fish of the river to encourage them to discover their true path," he explained. "Place these into your bags as you travel, and their sweet stench shall repel laziness and tomfoolery while you are on the path of redemption!" Double D and Eddy scrunched their noses in disgust, while Ed was intrigued by Rolf's story.

"What an interesting story, Rolf," Double D said.

"Yeah, Stretch, real page turner," Eddy added. "But I'm pretty sure that we don't need any..."

"POPPY COCK!" Rolf shouted. "The fish shall repel!" Rolf grabbed the fish out of Ed's hands and proceeded to shove a smelly fish into each one of their bags, much to Eddy's and Double D's dismay. He nodded sternly and joined Kevin and Nazz. As if on cue, Sarah and Jimmy made their way towards the Eds.

"Oh, great," Eddy moaned as he shot his hands into the air. "What do you two gotta say? Got a stuffed animal to bring to class? A tea cozy for lunch?" Sarah shot him an icy glare in response.

"Like we'd give anything to you, Eddy," she said.

"Yeah," Jimmy said, sticking his tongue out. "Tea cozy's are only for people who deserve them." As Eddy rolled his eyes, Ed approached his little sister with a smile.

"Aw, Baby Sister has come to give Ed a hug," he said, stretching his arms out wide. He was met with her shoving him to the side.

"BACK OFF, LUMMOX!" she shouted. "I don't want to have to bathe with bleach to get your stink off of me again." She approached Double D, who looked down at her nervously.

"Um, hello, Sarah," he said nervously. Sarah began to smile at her crush.

"Hi, Double D," she said sweetly. She then wrapped her arms around his midsection, trapping his arms at his sides.

"Y-you're invading my personal..." Double D began to say, but was cut off by Sarah squeezing him tighter.

"Double D, can't you stay and let my idiot brother go?" Sarah pleaded. "Eddy can get lost, too. You can stay here and play with Jimmy and me." While Double D looked around nervously, Eddy was scowling at the addition to the growing list of insanity he was receiving so early in the morning and Ed was frowning at his sister's scorn for his brotherly affection.

"Sarah, while I am flattered that you'd like for me to stay," Double D began to say as he made his way out of her grip, "I must inform you that I am obligated to join Ed and Eddy, due to the fact that it was my acceptance to Bullworth Academy that introduced their parents to the thought of sending them to the school in the first place." Sarah dropped her head and let out a small sniffle.

"Fine," she muttered. "Bye, Double D." Before Double D could attempt to comfort her, Jimmy quickly put his arm over Sarah's shoulder.

"It'll be ok, Sarah," he said. The two kids walked away towards the playground, leaving the Eds, Kevin, Nazz, and Rolf in the cul-de-sac.

"Alright, all the goodbyes are done," Eddy said. "Let's get this show on the road."

"Real eager to go, eh, Dorky?" Kevin asked with a smirk. "Good riddance." Eddy began to grind his teeth in anger, his fists clutched at his sides. Double D noticed this and immediately began to calm his friend.

"Now, Eddy," he began, "let's just get into the car and get on our..." He was cut off by Eddy turning around to face Kevin.

"THAT'S IT!" Eddy shouted. "I've had it with all this crap from you, Shovel Chin! Me and the guys are gonna go to this school and we'll be big shots! We'll have money, power, respect, EVERYTHING! You'll see!" All the other kids stood dumbfounded at Eddy's declaration. While he was infamous for his short temper, he had never lashed out like the way he did.

"Double D," Ed whispered. "Did Eddy quote a movie?"

"Technically, no, Ed," Double D whispered back. "He merely alluded to the point that the quote was making." Ed nodded as if he understood. Meanwhile, Kevin shook off his surprise and his cocky grin returned.

"I won't hold my breath," he said. Ed, sensing danger, picked up Eddy and held him back. The shortest Ed began to claw and kick in Kevin's direction. His fury was cut short, however, at the sound of three familiar voices drawing closer to their position.

"I can't believe they're leaving!" the dopey-sounding voice shouted.

"Mom was right," the shrill voice said. "Give a man your heart, and they'll leave you with nothing."

"Guess we better make sure that the boys don't forget about us, eh, girls?" the gruff voice called out. Before the Eds could begin to shake in terror, the other kids had ran for safety.

"KANKER SISTERS, EDDY!" Ed shouted as he jumped behind Double D for cover.

"What are we going to do?" Double D asked as he clutched his ski cap in fear. "We're exposed! No safe haven in sight!" Eddy looked at the car and saw that it was left unlocked.

"Come on!" he shouted as he grabbed his two friends by their collars, leaving their bags at the curb. He dragged them towards the car, opened the back seat door and shoved his friends inside. He immediately clambered over the hood of the car to get to the front passenger door. As he opened it, Double D checked behind them, noticing that they had forgotten something.

"Eddy!" Double D shouted. "Our bags!"

"What am I?" Eddy asked. "A freakin' bell boy?!" Still, he ran to the curb and grabbed the three pieces of luggage and made a break for the trunk. As he threw them inside and slammed the door shut, he checked his back and saw the Kanker sisters coming down the street.

"LOOK!" the red headed sister shouted. "It's Eddy!"

"AAAAAAAHHHH!" Eddy screamed. He immediately ran to the open door, jumped into the seat and slammed the door behind him. He pressed the auto-lock button, allowing he and his friends to breathe a sigh of relief. The three girls surrounded the car, each one had an evil smirk on their face.

"Hiya, boys," they said in unison.

"Oh...Hello, Lee," Double D said politely. "Marie. May. W-what brings you here?"

"We heard that you three were leaving town without us," Lee explained. "Were you planning on leaving without saying 'goodbye'?" She began to rhythmically tap on Eddy's window, while Marie was breathing on Double D's window in order to draw a heart in the condensation. May merely looked through to Ed, waving in a faux shy manner. While Ed and Double D cowered in their seats, Eddy smirked back at his tormenters.

"Count on it, Kanker!" Eddy said with a smile. "We're going so far away that you'll need a...a..." Eddy paused due to not knowing the word he was looking for. Ed, Double D, and the Kankers all waited patiently for Eddy's train of thought to reach its station.

"Hey, what's the name of those guys that led people up Mount Everlast?" he asked his friends.

"I think they called them Sherberts, Eddy," Ed answered. Double D slapped his forehead in frustration.

"The SHERPAS led them up MOUNT EVEREST!" he shouted, putting extreme focus onto his corrections for their mistakes.

"Aw, they're so cute when they squabble," Marie said mockingly.

"So, Short Stack," Lee said. "Are you and your friends gonna let us give you a proper send off or what?" The three sisters then began to pucker their lips and made loud kissing sounds. Eddy rolled his eyes and turned to his frightened friends.

"Don't worry, boys," he said casually. "Dad'll be out here soon and we'll drive off to safety." Double D smiled slightly at the news and wiped the sweat off of his brow, while Ed began to stick his tongue out at the Kankers.

"Ooh, Big Ed, I didn't know you're ready for such a big step," May said, a slight blush creeping over her cheeks. Ed turned back to his friends, a confused look on his face.

"What does that mean, guys?" he asked.

"You don't want to know, Ed," Double D said slowly. As Eddy turned back around, he noticed that his father was walking towards the car. He looked at the three girls that surrounded his car, then back to his son and his friends.

"Eddy, what's going on?" he asked.

"No time to explain, Dad!" Eddy shouted. "We're running late! Let's get going!" Instead of opening the driver side door, Eddy's father scratched his head in confusion.

"What are you talking about?" he asked. "What about your girlfriends here?"

"They aren't our..!" Eddy tried to shout, but found himself cut off by Lee approaching his father.

"You see, sir," she said sweetly. "My sisters and I were running late telling Ed, Edd, and Eddy goodbye." The Eds were shocked that Lee was capable of being polite to anyone, let alone use a word like "sir".

"Yeah," Marie added. "But they say that you need to go soon..."

"Will you please give us some time to tell them goodbye?" May asked, prompting her and her sisters to give puppy dog eyes to Eddy's father. He began to smile and pressed the unlock button on his key chain.

"DAD!" Eddy shouted. "What are you doing?!"

"Come on, Eddy," he said as he opened the car doors. "There's always time to say goodbye to your girlfriends. I need to go back inside anyway." He walked back towards his front door, chuckling as he entered his home. The Eds began to sweat nervously as the Kankers kind façade faded and they regained their intimidating aura.

"You gonna want to do this the easy way or the hard way?" Lee asked with a smirk. While Eddy and Ed cowered in their seats, Double D did his best to regain his composure and become the voice of reason.

"Eddy, this should be the last time that we will be subjected to this torture," Double D sighed. "Perhaps we should face this last punishment with quiet dignity and dauntless courage." As he said that, Eddy began to clutch to his seat while Lee was pulling at his legs.

"LEMME GO!" he shouted. Lee chuckled as her man's grip slipped, allowing her to drag him off to the side of his house. Double D looked nervously towards Ed, whose head was being grabbed by May.

"THIS IS JUST HOW IT HAPPENED TO THE COMIC RELIEF IN ZOMBIES FROM THE GREENHOUSE CEMETARIES!" Ed shouted as May dragged him off to the other side of Eddy's house, leaving Double D sitting alone with Marie, who was starting to enter the backseat with him.

"Quiet dignity and dauntless courage," Marie said with a coy smile. "Isn't that right, Oven Mitt?" Double D swallowed the fear that was forming a lump in his throat, closed his eyes, and clenched his fists.

"Let's just get that over with, Marie," he said. Marie shrugged and took her time fixing her lipstick.

"Pucker up, Dreamboat!" she said. Double D felt a hand grab him by the shirt collar and pull him forward.

* * *

"Heh, heh, heh," Eddy's father chuckled. "I didn't know that I was driving a trio of Casanovas today." Eddy scowled with his arms crossed in the front seat, Double D frowned slightly, and Ed smiled as he watched the passing cars. The one thing that the boys had in common was the fact that their faces were covered in red lipstick stains.

"While I appreciate the compliment, sir," Double D said as he pulled out a handkerchief to clean himself with. "I'm afraid that you are mistaken. The Kanker sisters affectionate actions are uninvited and coupled with intimidation to make us submit to their control." Eddy's father nodded as if he understood, but he soon leaned towards his son.

"Translation, Mini Me," he requested.

"The Kankers aren't our girlfriends, Dad," Eddy muttered as he rubbed off the kiss marks with his hands. "They've been driving us crazy ever since they moved to Peach Creek."

"Sounds like a girlfriend to me," his father chuckled. "Well, if you wanted your space, no better way to do it than traveling hundreds of miles in any direction." Eddy and Double D silently agreed with the statement. The group continued the trip while enjoying the silence of the ride. They passed state line after state line, losing count of exactly how many they crossed. Eventually, Double D and Ed had fallen asleep in the back, leaving Eddy and his father to talk.

"You know," Eddy's father began. "I managed to catch a bit of what you were shouting about before those girls showed up. Something about being a big shot at Bullworth. Care to elaborate?" Eddy tensed up, fearing his dad's temper would flare up if he said anything. Sensing that his son wouldn't explain himself, he let out a sigh.

"Look, Eddy," he said. "Ever since your brother left home, your mom and I heard too many damn stories from the other parents about how you've tried to make money off of their kids. Now, call me crazy, but I'm sure that this is some attempt to live up to his so-called 'legacy'." Eddy sunk his head and looked at his shoes, confirming his father's suspicions.

"This is actually a good opportunity for you," his father continued. "Even for your friends, too. You guys can get away from the crap you've done and start over. Be something better than what you three made yourselves back home."

"But, Dad..." Eddy attempted to explain, only to be cut off by his father's hand coming down to rub his hair.

"No buts, Squirt," he chuckled. "I don't want to hear a word about you getting in any trouble up at this school. I'm sure the same goes for their parents." He pointed his thumb towards the back seat. Eddy turned to face his still-slumbering friends, his mind playing reruns of all their misadventures in the cul-de-sac. He recalled how often he and his friends wound up in trouble, how they usually ended up in bad situations, and how often they could've blamed him for it all.

"Yes, sir," Eddy said. "I promise to stay out of trouble." His father smiled at his son's answer.

"Good to hear," he replied. "If you want, you can take a nap, too. Long car drives gotta be boring for you kids." Eddy nodded in agreement and made himself comfortable. He soon drifted off to sleep while his father dutifully drove the sleeping youths towards their destination.

* * *

**Well, what did you think? Like it? Hate it? Mixture of both? Let me know in a review.**

**Peace.**


	3. Welcome to Bullworth

**Well, we're in for a long one, ladies and non-ladies. I recommend a bathroom break and a snack run...well, not really. Just messing around, you know? All in good humor. In this supersized chapter, we start getting into the main plot of the crossover. Let's hope the Eds are up for the challenges ahead. I call this story arc, _Running with the Bullies._ Clever stuff here. Enough wasting time.**

**Enjoy.**

* * *

BEEEEEEEEP!

Ed, Double D, and Eddy jolted awake at the sound of the car horn blaring in their ears. The sound was followed by Eddy's father's roaring laughter. Eddy rubbed his eyes, scowling at the rude method of awakening. Double D made minor adjustments to his hat and shirt to make sure that he still looked presentable. Ed moved his head from the window, drool marks still fresh on his makeshift pillow.

"Is nap time over?" Ed asked as he wiped the drool off of his cheek with his sleeve.

"Where are we?" Eddy asked as he looked outside. The boys looked out towards the passenger side to see a brick archway with an iron gate in the center. "Bullworth Academy" was engraved in the stone just above the gateway, and a large stone gargoyle perched itself atop the peak of the arch. The boys returned a fearful stare to its demonic glare.

"Here we are, boys," Eddy's father said. "Bullworth Academy. Nice bat." He pointed up at the stone monster with a smirk. He then pulled a latch that popped the trunk open.

"Go grab your bags," he said. "I gotta get back home. Think I might need to get the car cleaned."

"What do you mean?" Double D asked.

"Well, on the way over here I stopped for gas and when I walked by the trunk, I could swear that I smelled rotting fish," Eddy's father explained. Eddy and Double D looked at each other nervously, while Ed's eyes widened at the mentioning of fish.

"Oh!" he exclaimed. "Like the fish that Rolf..." Eddy jumped into the back seat to cover Ed's mouth.

"Shut up, Ed!" he whispered harshly.

"What was that, Ed?" Eddy's father asked with a curious eyebrow raised.

"Nothing, Dad," Eddy began to lie. "Just the fish that Rolf cooked for us a few months back." Eddy's father stared at his son, suspicion clear in his face. His son smiled as large as he could. His father shook his head in response.

"Whatever you say," he muttered. "You guys just grab your bags, and I'll be back on the road."

"Certainly, sir," Double D said. He then opened his door and, one-by-one, the boys made their way out of the car and around to the trunk.

"Boy!" Eddy said as he pinched his nose shut. "Dad wasn't kidding. These fish reek!" Double D was too busy preventing himself from vomiting to respond.

"I can see the tom foolery running up the road, guys!" Ed said with a smile as he grabbed their bags and set them onto the sidewalk. The Eds then approached the open car window to talk to Eddy's father before he left.

"Thank you for the ride, sir," Double D said politely.

"Yeah," Eddy chimed in. "Thanks, Dad."

"Thanks!" Ed shouted.

"No problem, boys," he started. "Have fun. Learn some crap. Brush your teeth. Yadda, yadda, yadda. See you later." As he began checking his mirrors to see if he had the go ahead, his son saw that the gate was still shut.

"Hey, we're locked out!" Eddy shouted. "How are we supposed to get in?" His father looked though the gate and saw a middle aged woman in a black suit jacket, grey blouse, black skirt and heels coming up to the gate.

"She looks like someone in charge," he commented. "Sorry, Eddy. Looks like you're going to school whether you like it or not." The Eds turned around to see the woman fumbling with the gate keys.

"See you around," Eddy's father said. "Oh, and I'll be sure to give the kids the address to the school. They'll send you some mail."

"WHAT?!" Eddy shouted. His father didn't hear him, however, as he was already driving back down the road and out of the boys' sights. As they turned around, the woman had finally opened the door and was standing right behind them.

"You three must be the new students," she said sternly. "My name is Ms. Danvers, and let me be the first to welcome you to Bullworth Academy." She extended her arms outwards Ed and Eddy merely stared back at her blankly. Double D, however, smiled politely and extended his hand to the woman.

"Yes, ma'am," he said. "It's a pleasure to meet you. My name is..."

"I don't have all day to converse with little boys," Ms. Danvers said, cutting off Double D in the process. "I have a man to make happy." Double D relinquished his hand, turning back to face Ed and Eddy. The trio shrugged at each other while Ms. Danvers stared off into space with a faint smile on her face. After a few minutes, she shook herself out of her fantasies and faced the boys.

"The headmaster will want to speak to you in his study," she said. "Grab your bags and follow me."

"Yes, ma'am," Double D said. Eddy then turned to Ed, snapping his fingers.

"Ed, handle the light weight," Eddy commanded. Ed saluted his friend with a dopey smile.

"Wilco Roger, Eddy!" Ed said. He grabbed the three bags and joined his friends as they followed the woman through the gate. Their heads slowly turned back to see the gate shut by itself. Before they could question it, they heard the rapid snapping of fingers.

"Quit gawking and come along!" Ms. Danvers shouted. "Don't keep Dr. Crabblesnitch waiting! He's a brilliant man...brilliant." The Eds hurriedly pass her by and started to walk towards the school building. They marveled at the three-story building covered with ivy and brick. As they passed the large B on the ground, they didn't notice that they were walking into the path of a distracted little girl.

"Oof!" Ed grunted as he ran into the girl, dropping the bags as they collided.

"Oh, dear!" Double D exclaimed. "Are you alright?" The girl brushed off her dark teal skirt and adjusted her glasses.

"I am fine," she said. "Thank you for showing that you cared."

"But I don't care," Eddy muttered under his breath. Double D nudged his elbow into Eddy's side.

"You three must be the new students," the little girl said, oblivious to Eddy's rude remarks. "My name is Gloria Jackson. I do hope that you are different from the other animals that make up this school."

"Animals?" Ed repeated. "Like dogs and cats?"

"I wish they were that simple," Gloria responded. "You see, the caliber of students that make up this school are...OW!" The little girl was cut off by an older boy with red hair and wearing a dirty white school shirt and blue jeans walking up behind her and pulling on her hair buns.

"Awww...does the widdle girl's head hurt from using big words?" he said in a mocking tone. Eddy and Double D stared at the boy in disbelief, while Ed merely stared at the boy with a blank expression.

"Now why would you do a thing like that?" Double D asked. "Can't you see that she's just a little girl?"

"Who the hell are you to say something to me?" the boy asked. "In fact, just who are you three? Huh?" He shoved Double D back into Eddy, causing the two to fall to the ground. Ed silently stood in his place, clutching his and his friends' bags angrily. The bully had taken notice that he was being stared down, and immediately attempted to size up his next target. Unfortunately for him, Ed had a good few inches of height on him.

"You want some too, Gigantor?" he spat. Ed stared him down, the anger in his eyes causing the bully to back off. Soon Ms. Danvers approached the boys and Gloria, a stern scowl on her face.

"Just what is going on around here?" she asked. The bully merely shrugged in response.

"Nothing, Miss," he said. "Just welcoming the new kids."

"Some welcome!" Eddy spat as he helped Double D up off the ground.

"This delinquent was picking on a defenseless child and attempted the same on us!" Double D informed. Ms. Danvers immediately grabbed at the bully's ear and pulled.

"Wade Martin, you know the rules," she said. "You shall report to the boys dormitories immediately and await a prefect to collect you for a fitting punishment. Am I clear?" Wade didn't respond, instead he clutched his ear and walked over towards the building towards their immediate left. Before he left he shot the Eds an evil scowl, causing all but Ed to flinch.

"Terribly sorry for that mishap," Ms. Danvers said. "Now come along. Dr. Crabblesnitch has waited long enough." She gestured for the Eds to follow her and started to walk towards the steps to the school.

"I must thank you for standing up for me," Gloria said. "You better get to the headmaster's study now. Good bye!" She gave a quick wave and walked off. Eddy and Double D returned the wave and the trio made their way towards the school.

"I can't believe that," Eddy said. "I mean, who hits kids? Sarah's a total brat and I never even thought about it."

"I couldn't agree more, Eddy," Double D said. "Let's hope that the young man learns a thing or two from the punishment he receives."

"Yeah," Eddy laughed. "Maybe they'll let him get a taste of his own medicine. Right, Ed?" Ed didn't respond to his friend right away. Instead, he just focused intently on the school as he carried the bags.

"Ed, is everything alright?" Double D asked.

"Big school, guys," Ed commented. The trio had made their way up the school steps and found themselves staring up towards the top of the bell tower.

"Well, enough sight-seeing," Eddy said. "Let's go see what this doctor guy has to say to us." Double D and Ed nodded and walked towards the double doors. Eddy and Double D held them open to let Ed inside and followed in after him. They entered the lobby and saw many school banners strung up along the walls that celebrated various sports. Various students dressed in school uniforms were walking around the lobby, a few of them staring at the Eds.

"Good lord," Double D said. "The school building is quite massive. How will we find the headmaster's office?"

"Relax, Sock Head," Eddy said. "We just gotta ask directions."

"How about that guy?" Ed asked, gesturing towards an overweight boy with red, curly hair. He had glasses, a light green vest, a white button up shirt, and blue denim shorts that had the fly completely undone so that his underwear was exposed.

"Better than nothing," Eddy sighed. "HEY! YOU WITH THE UNDERWEAR HANGING OUT!" His loud voice caused many other students to point towards the student and laugh at the boy.

"Why does this have to happen to me?" he whined. As he hid his face behind his notebook, the Eds approached him.a

"Apologies for the incident, friend," Double D said. "We were just wondering if you could direct us towards the headmaster's study." The overweight boy glared at the trio over his book.

"It's up the stairs," he said in an annoyed tone. "The big door with the word, 'PRINCIPAL' on it. Get the picture, Loser-Head?" Double D was taken aback by the sudden insult, while Eddy approached the nerdy boy.

"What's your problem, four-eyes?" he snapped. "We're new here and don't exactly know the layout yet. So give us a break or else I'm gonna... What's that smell?" As Eddy began to raise his voice at the boy, the nerd suddenly began to relieve his stress in his pants. He hung his head in shame as he covered the growing stain on the front of his shorts.

"Hey, Algernon wet his pants again!" a voice called out, causing every student within the area to start laughing. This caused Algernon to run out the front door crying.

"Poor fellow," Double D commented. Eddy shrugged indifferently.

"Jerk deserved it," he said. "Let's go. We've wasted enough time as it is." The trio then made their way up the stairs and saw the large doorway that led to the office. Behind the desk sat Ms. Danvers, who didn't look happy to the Eds.

"You three had better learn punctuality," she commented. "Leave your bags here. A prefect will deliver them to your room. Dr. Crabblesnitch is waiting for you over there." Ed dropped the bags and followed Double D and Eddy through another set of doors. They entered an office that was decorated with multiple pictures and animal trophies. There were also a fireplace and many book cases along the walls. In the center of the room was a desk with three chairs set up in front of it. Behind the desk sat a man with grey hair, a brown suit, and a red tie. He stared up from his paperwork to notice the three boys standing in his doorway.

"Ah, you three must be Edward, Eddward, and Edward," he commented. "I would call you by your last names, but your papers have smudges on your last names... No matter. Please, take a seat." He gestured towards the empty chairs. The Eds dutifully took their seats, noticing the nameplate on the desk that read, "Dr. Crabblesnitch, PhD". Double D sat up straight, Ed slouched forward, and Eddy leaned back into his chair.

"Now, let's see here," the headmaster said. "Eddward with two Ds, you are the one who came here on our scholarship, correct?"

"Yes, sir," he said with a polite smile.

"You have good grades across the board," Dr. Crabblesnitch commented. "All save for gym class, which is sub par, but still passing. Your friends, however, have positively atrocious transcripts. Edward." The doctor looked towards Ed, who was too busy staring at the large, stuffed bird that was perched over the desk. Double D nudged the boy, snapping him out of his trance.

"What?" Ed asked.

"Your teachers say that you suffer from an overactive imagination," Dr. Crabblesnitch explained. "The only classes that you excell in are gym and art. While we do applaud creativity, we also urge students to focus their energy into all assets of school. I expect you to gain focus in the areas that you need it the most, young man." Ed saluted the headmaster in response.

"Got it, Doctor Crab Apple, sir!" he said with a goofy smile.

"Crabblesnitch, boy," the headmaster said with a warning finger wag. "My name is pronounced 'Crabblesnitch'. Now, as for you, Edward." He turned his attention towards Eddy, who perked up from his casual position.

"Yeah, Doc?" he asked, much to Crabblesnitch's and Double D's dismay.

"You shall not call me 'Doc', boy," he growled. "Your transcript seems to have a long laundry list of mischief. Destruction of property, swindling children out of their money, and disturbing the peace are but a few noteworthy points on your record. What's worse, you manage to drag others into your web of trouble, including your friends here." Eddy scowled, but was saddened at how Dr. Crabblesnitch had blamed him for dragging Double D and Ed down with him.

"Luckily for you, my boy, I find children like you to be quite the delightful challenge," Dr. Crabblesnitch explained. "I believe that I shall be able to succeed where others have failed and cure you of your mischief. You will keep a clean nose here, Edward, even if that means I have to clean it myself. Understand?"

"Yes, sir," Eddy sighed.

"Very well," the headmaster said. "Your room should be ready by now. To get to the boy's dormitory just exit the school, go towards the gate, and it will be the building on your right. Under no circumstances are you three to go into the girls dormitory. Are we clear?" The three boys nodded in agreement.

"You are excused," Dr. Crabblesnitch said, gesturing towards the door. The Eds rose out of their seats and made their way out of the office.

"Geez, that guy's a tightwad," Eddy remarked as the trio walked down the stairs. "'You will keep a clean nose here, Edward.' Sheesh."

"Dr. Crabblesnitch is only doing his job, Eddy," Double D said. "I'm sure that he won't be a bother to you so long as you stay out of trouble."

"Bubble, bubble, toil and trouble," Ed added with a laugh.

"Who writes your dialogue, Ed?" Eddy chuckled as they exited the school. They casually walked towards the gate and made the right turn towards the boys dormitory.

"Strange..." Double D said as they approached the dorm. "It appears that there are other students that are similar in their attire to Wade Martin waiting outside the door."

"Who?" Ed asked.

"That jerk that picked on Gloria and us, Ed," Eddy explained. "Ring any bells?" This caused Ed to snap back into his angry attitude. Double D and Eddy took that as a hint not to mention Wade anymore to their friend. Unfortunately for them, they noticed Wade walk out of the dorm and towards the Eds. His friends immediately ran around to block off the exit.

"This is not good," Double D muttered nervously.

"Well, speak of the devil," Eddy said.

"You jerks got me a detention tomorrow," Wade said. "I was planning on using that time to beat on nerds behind the library."

"Aw, boo hoo!" Eddy said, rubbing his eyes with his fists mockingly. "Cry us a river."

"Now, please," Double D began to plead. "We aren't looking to start any trouble. We apologize for what happened earlier, if that helps."

"Sorry don't cut it around here, nerd!" Wade shouted. "Now I gotta take it out on your asses!" Double D and Eddy looked up at the bully in horror. Ed, however, tightened his hands into fists.

"GUESS WHAT TIME IT IS!" Wade taunted. "YEP! TIME FOR A BEAT DOWN!"

"Get the new kid!" the black bully shouted. "Beat him down!" Wade began to approach the Eds with his fists up.

"What are we going to do, Eddy?" Double D asked as he hid behind his friend.

"Relax, Double D," Eddy said. "He won't do anything to us. Not when he could...OOOFF!" Eddy was cut off by Wade's fist connecting with his chest, knocking him down to the concrete. Double D knelt beside his fallen friend, worry clear on his face.

"Eddy!" Double D shouted. "Are you alright?" Eddy began coughing in response, desperately trying to get the wind back into him.

"Weaklings don't belong here!" Wade commented as he raised his fist to begin pummeling the two.

"TAKE THIS, EVIL DOER!" Ed shouted as he threw a fist towards Wade's face. The bully went flying back, much to the other boys' surprise.

"Ed?" Double D muttered as he watched his friend hold up his fists. He had seen Ed mad before, but never so much that he would fight.

"Lucky shot, punk," Wade said, spitting out the blood in his mouth.

"You beat up kids," Ed growled. "You beat up my friends. NOW ED BEATS YOU UP!" Wade barely had time to hold his arms up in defense as Ed came barreling towards him. He began delivering blows to his opponents chest, face, and body with everything he had. Just before the other bullies were going to step in, however, Ed stopped when Wade began to beg.

"No more!" he shouted. "I give!" As if on cue, Eddy rose off the ground, still clutching his chest. His mind flashed back to his early childhood, and how his brother had "played" a game with him almost every day. Now struck with inspiration, he smirked as he approached the beaten bully.

"Guess your watch is off," he chuckled. "It ain't time for a beat down after all. Here, let me check it out for you." He then grabbed Wade's left forearm with both hands and twisted in alternate directions.

"Ayayayayay! OW! OW! OW!" Wade moaned as he received the indian burn. Eddy smiled a sadistic smile as he tossed the arm away, watching Wade clutch it in pain.

"That sucked, man...Seriously!" the bully shouted as he attempted to run away. As he ran towards his friends, he tripped over his own feet and fell to the ground in pain. Double D and Ed approached Eddy, both surprised at what they had seen.

"Eddy, what was that?" Ed asked.

"That was a trick my bro taught me," Eddy half-lied. "What about you, Ed?"

"What do you mean?" Ed asked.

"Ed, do you remember what you did to Wade?" Double D asked.

"You tore him a new one!" Eddy cheered.

"I did?" Ed asked. Eddy shook his head, figuring his friend merely spaced out again.

"Never mind, Lumpy," he chuckled. "We did good, boys." The Eds victory was short-lived, however, as the sound of doors slamming open behind them grabbed their attention. They turned to see a giant in a school uniform standing in between them and the dormitories. He stared at them furiously, causing the boys to immediately fear what could possibly come next.

"YOU'RE DEAD, NEW KIDS!" he bellowed. "RUSSELL SMASH YOUR FACES!" The Eds cowered and covered their faces as Russell began to charge towards them. Luckily, a teacher had seen the boys crowding around and ran towards them to investigate.

"HEY, BREAK IT UP!" he shouted, causing everyone except Russell and the Eds to run away. "That's enough of that. Break it up!" The Eds looked towards the teacher and saw that he was an overweight black man in his late forties. He wore a navy blue suit jacket with a light blue button down shirt, brown slacks, and black shoes.

"You three!" he said gesturing towards the Eds. "Your attire is unacceptable! Go to your dorms and change immediately!" While he was busy chastising the Eds, Russell managed to slip away. As the teacher began to walk away, Double D noticed that he had forgotten someone.

"Excuse me, sir!" he shouted. "You've forgotten to address the deplorable actions of the..." Eddy immediately covered his mouth and began dragging his friend towards the dormitory.

"Zip it, Sock Head," he muttered. "This is what got us in that fight in the first place!"

"That's another thing!" Double D said. "We haven't been here for more than one hour and already we've been bullied, threatened, beaten, and reprimanded while others got away with causing us harm! What's worse is that you two have managed to fall down to their level. How can you explain that?"

"'One had better die fighting against injustice than die like a dog or a rat in a trap,'" Ed said simply. This caused his friends to stop on the steps and stare back at him in disbelief.

"Where did that come from?" Eddy asked.

"Ida B. Wells," Double D explained. "She was an important figure in the Civil Rights Movement. Ed, why did you quote her?"

"Quote rhymes with moat, Double D," Ed said with a smile.

"Well, that didn't last long," Eddy sighed. "Let's just go to our room and get some rest. I don't want to deal with another kid for the rest of the day." The three Eds walked through the dormitory doors. They saw that there was a common room that had a TV, arcade cabinet, poker table, and a soda machine directly in front of them.

"TV!" Ed shouted as he took off in a run. He ran around the couch and sat indian style in front of the TV, noticing that a history special on the Nazi regime was playing. He reached up to change the channel, but felt a sharp sting as a hand slapped his back down.

"I'm watching that, idiot!" a voice spat. Double D and Eddy, fearing another bullying incident, rushed towards Ed and noticed a boy with a brown low fade haircut and a scar over his right eye glaring back at them from the couch. He wore a teal school vest over a grey button down shirt and charcoal slacks.

"Wait a minute," the boy muttered. "You three are the new kids." He began to smile, which caused Eddy to recall the treatment they received from the bullies. This caused him to immediately go on the defensive, putting himself between his friends and the boy.

"Yeah, what's it to you?" Eddy spat, extending his arms as if to challenge the boy to a fight. Instead, he gave them a smirk.

"Friendly, aren't you?" the boy chuckled. "You might want to calm down, friend. The nurse might put you on medication if you act like that towards everyone you meet."

"The school nurse has the authority to prescribe medication to the students?" Double D asked in disbelief.

"Yeah," the boy sighed. "In fact, the entire school can do pretty much whatever they want so long as they know the right ways." He noticed that the Eds were staring at him curiously and extended a hand out towards them.

"Where are my manners?" he asked. "I'm Gary." Ed was the first to shake Gary's hand, accidentally pushing Eddy into the couch as he got up.

"I'm Ed!" he shouted.

"My name is Eddward, but you may call me Double D," Double D said. He noticed that Eddy was too agitated to introduce himself.

"And this is Eddy," Double D said quickly as he gestured towards his friend.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah," Eddy said as he rolled his eyes. "Really nice to meet you and whatever."

"Still don't trust me?" Gary asked. "That really hurts, friend. By the way, where's your uniforms?"

"Dr. Crab Cakes didn't give us any," Ed said sadly.

"Well, they're probably in your dorm room," Gary said as he gestured towards an open door in the hallway. "There's only one open room, so you can guess where you ought to go next." Eddy immediately grabbed Ed and Double D and proceeded to push them out of the common room and towards the dorm room. Ed looked back with a smile and waved while Double D began to look back apologetically.

"Thank you for the assistance," he said. "Please forgive Eddy. We've had a bad day." Before Gary could speak up, Eddy had slammed the bedroom door behind him and sighed. He and his friends began to look around their new room, noticing that all they had was a bunk bed set, a twin bed, a desk, and a closet.

"I call top bunk!" Ed shouted as he jumped up onto his claimed spot. Eddy, in an attempt to keep his distance from Ed's snoring and drooling at night, immediately jumped onto the twin mattress.

"Dibs, Double D," he said with a smirk. Double D didn't seem bothered by the decided sleeping arrangement. Instead, he turned his attention towards the closet and opened the doors. He found three paper bags inside, each had their names and the Bullworth coat of arms on them. He peered into the one with his name on it and that it held various school clothes inside.

"It appears that Gary was correct in his assumptions," Double D told his friends as he handed them their bags. "These are our new uniforms." Ed stuck his entire head into the bag while Eddy merely tossed his back towards the closet.

"Can we put them on now, Double D?" Ed asked as he pulled out a dark blue sweater vest and slipped it over his jacket.

"I'm sure that we can wait until tomorrow to wear them, Ed," Double D said. "Besides, you don't want to get your new clothes dirty before your first day, do you?"

"Yes, I do!" Ed grinned as he began digging around in his bag. As Double D and Eddy chuckled at their friend's antics, a boy in a pink button down shirt with a blue school vest shyly peeked into their room.

"Hey," he said shyly. "You guys must be the new kids. I'm Pete. Pete Kowalski." Pete extended his hand towards the group and patiently waited for one of them to take it. Seeing as how Ed was busy digging through his bag and Eddy didn't seem to trust this new kid either, Double D obliged their visitor and shook his hand.

"Greetings, Pete," he said with a polite smile. "My name is Eddward, but everyone calls me Double D. The fellow on the top bunk is Ed." As he heard his name, Ed pulled his head out of his bag, a pair of slacks comically drapped over his head.

"What?" he asked.

"Nevermind, Ed," Double D sighed, causing his friend to shrug and resume his investigations.

"And this is Eddy." Eddy gave a quick nod to Pete and went back to staring up at the ceiling.

"Wait, you all are named, 'Edward'?" Petey asked with a nervous smirk. "Are your parents all that unimaginative or what?" The boy began to chuckle but soon stopped as he noticed that no one was joining him.

"So, this school is so rough that even the most pathetic kids are trying to be tough guys, huh?" Eddy said as he sat up and stared at Pete. His outburst caused Pete to cower in fear, while Double D stood in between him and his angry friend.

"Please forgive him," Double D politely pleaded. "We've all had a rough day."

"I know," Pete admitted. "I heard that you had a run in with the bullies. You managed to beat up Wade, though. That's impressive and stupid at the same time."

"What do you mean, 'stupid'?" Eddy asked as he got out of bed and walked towards Pete.

"Well..." Pete sighed. "You know who Russell is, right?"

"The huge guy who talks like that comic book hero?" Ed asked.

"That's him," Pete confirmed. "He's the leader of the bullies, and he might not be too happy that you beat up one of his boys."

"I should've known that we wouldn't be able to let this incident pass," Double D sighed as he slumped onto his bunk. Eddy, on the other hand, started to pace around his room angrily.

"This is just great!" he shouted. "All this trouble and it's only day one! And it's only the freakin' beginning! We've got to do something about this, guys."

"But what can we do about it, Eddy?" Ed asked.

"Simple," a voice said from the hallway. "You take over the school." The four boys turned to see that Gary was standing in the doorway with a devious smile on his face.

"Come on, Gary," Pete sighed. "Not this again. It's all you ever talk about."

"How about you shut up, Femme Boy?" Gary shot back. "Shouldn't you bother your imaginary friends and let the grown ups talk business?"

"Why don't you leave me alone?" Pete asked, doing his best to appear tough. His attempts, however, only caused Gary to laugh.

"Look at you, Petey," he said as he pushed his shoulder. "Trying to be the toughest girl in the school. Don't you realize that I'm offering the new kids a chance to stop the bullying?"

"What do you mean?" Ed asked.

"Yeah," Eddy added. "How does taking over the school help anything?"

"Simple, friends," Gary said as he put his arm around Eddy's shoulder. "If someone were to take over the school, then they would command respect from everyone. They would have more power than all the most popular kids in school combined. No one could touch them." As Gary explained his reasons, a sly smile began to grow on Eddy's face. Double D and Ed noticed that Eddy's attitude began to change and the two began to look nervously at the other.

"Double D, Eddy's got that look in his eyes again," Ed said.

"Indeed," Double D muttered. "Eddy, I think we should retire for the evening." Eddy snapped out of his trance and saw that his friends were staring at him nervously. He immediately understood what Double D was trying to do and followed through.

"Yeah, you're right," Eddy said. "Tell you what, Gary. You give me and my boys some time to talk your offer over, and we'll have an answer soon. Alright?" For a brief moment, the Eds thought that Gary looked at them in furious disbelief. He immediately regained his composure, nodded, and began to walk towards the door.

"Fair enough, friends," Gary sighed. "But be sure to think hard, because this offer isn't going to last all school year. Come on, Petey, before they come to their senses and start despising you." As Gary made his way back into the hallway, Pete gave them a wave and an awkward smile.

"See you guys around," he said as he walked out of the room. Eddy shut the door behind him and turned to face his friends. As they stared back at him with mixtures of concern and nervousness, Eddy began to chuckle nervously.

"So, what's new?" he asked.

"What's new?" Double D repeated. "Seeing as you're planning on forming an alliance to usurp control over the entire student body, I could say that nothing is new."

"Oh, come on, Sockhead," Eddy protested. "What are you talking about?"

"Eddy, you had the look again," Ed interjected. "You get it every time you see quarters and jawbreakers. It's more dangerous than the gaze of Medusa!" He pulled his eyelids to highlight a creepy gaze.

"You guys are full of it," Eddy said. "Besides, you make it seem like this is a scam or something."

"It is a scam, Eddy," Double D sighed. "Taking over the school...You do realize that the phrase itself sounds ridiculous, don't you?" Eddy shrugged in response.

"Sounds like a good plan to me," he said.

"Really?" Double D asked. "Well, give us one good reason why we should go along with this harebrained scheme."

"Simple," Eddy said with a smirk. "You heard Gary. We do this, and we can kiss our bullying problems goodbye!" Ed began to look around happily while Double D merely shook his head in disbelief.

"No more bad guys, Double D!" Ed shouted.

"You two can't possibly believe that we can stop the bullies like this," Double D said. "We don't even know how Gary would want to go about this."

"Look, who cares about the how?" Eddy asked. "Think about the reward, guys. No one will be able to touch us. We'll be set for the rest of the school year."

"But the risk of trouble from the teachers..." Double D began to protest, but was stopped by Eddy covering his mouth.

"You saw that teacher, right?" he asked. "Even Ed can tell that there's something wrong with this school. We'll be heroes and save the place from evil. Right, Ed?" Ed stood up on his bed with a large smile on his face. He raised two fists into the air and jumped down towards his friends. While they felt the floor shake under their friend's might, he scooped them up in a large hug.

"We shall beat the bad guys as the greatest team ever!" Ed cheered. "They will call us the LEAGUE OF SUPER-DUPER EDS!" As he dropped his friends, Eddy began to smile deviously

"Keep it down, Lummox," Eddy chuckled as he turned to Double D. "See? Big Ed wants to do this. I want to do this. Now we just need one more person..." Double D stared back at his friends who were both smiling back at him.

"Curse the powers of peer pressure," he muttered. "Fine, but I refuse to take part in any more illicit behavior. My role shall be purely advisory to your cause." Ed turned to Eddy, scratching his head.

"What does that mean?" he asked.

"It means Sockhead's going to help us without getting his hands dirty," Eddy explained.

"LIKE A BUTLER!" Ed laughed, causing Eddy to join him in roaring laughter.

"Ha ha ha," Double D sarcastically laughed, crossing his arms in frustration.

"Don't get mad, Jeeves," Eddy joked. "Tell you what, tomorrow you won't have to make my bed. Does that make you happy?"

"Why would I?" Double D smirked. "Last time I did that, I found a used tissue. And I know that you didn't have a cold." Eddy began to frown while Ed pointed at his embarrassed friend and laughed.

"Jeeves got you, Eddy!" he chuckled. While Eddy was mad at first, he soon found himself laughing along with his friends.

"Yeah, yeah, whatever," Eddy eventually yawned. "I'm freakin' tired." His yawn became infectious, causing Double D and Ed to yawn as well.

"I feel that we should get some rest, gentlemen," Double D said. "We have classes tomorrow at nine o'clock."

"I forgot that we actually had classes," Eddy joked. "Alright, lights out."

"Goodnight, guys," Ed said as he flipped the light switch. As the three friends prepared themselves for bed, they didn't realize that Gary was eavesdropping outside their door. He smiled as he walked back towards his room, brushing his brown hair back.

"Looks like I picked the right ones for this," he said as he shut the door.

* * *

**And scene. Who would've known that Ed could fight? How did Eddy learn the proper technique for a pacifying Indian burn? Are you really surprised that Double D doesn't want much part in this scheme? If you want your feedback to be heard, I accept reviews. Until next time.**

**Peace.**


	4. This is Your School

**Back by popular demand, after an unforeseen vacat(writer's block)ion. I could blame it on the Animaniacs, Sly Cooper Thieves in Time, and At World's End, but that wouldn't be responsible. But, enough of that. To the story.**

**Enjoy.**

* * *

Morning came sooner than the Eds expected as the alarm clock Double D had set began to buzz and beep. Eddy fought his friends attempts to wake him as hard as he could, covering his head with his pillow. Ed, however, had jolted out of his slumber so suddenly that he forgot that he was on the top bunk. He yelled out as he fell to the floor, his impact shaking Eddy awake.

"Canada's invading!" Eddy shouted. He looked around and groaned as he discovered that it was only Ed. He looked over towards the clock and saw that it read 7:00 AM, further entrenching the scowl on his face.

"Good morning, fellows," Double D said cheerfully. Ed and Eddy looked over towards their friend to find him standing at the closet, already dressed in his school uniform. He wore a white button down shirt and a school tie underneath a dark green school vest. He wore the school slacks and a pair of dress shoes that his parents had given to him. The only piece of attire that he refused to relinquish was his ski cap. After a moment of silence, Eddy began to chuckle while Ed walked over towards Double D with a big smile.

"Smashing tie, Double D," he said, reaching out to pull on his friends clothes. He received a quick smack on his wrist, causing him to pull it back quickly.

"I'm sorry, Ed," Double D began to say, "but I've just perfected my appearance. After all, today is the day that we make our first impressions on the rest of the school. It's best done by looking..."

"Like a total dweeb?" Eddy interjected. His laughter became louder as his friend began to scowl at him. Double D, however, soon began to smile dubiously.

"Laugh at me all you want, Eddy," he said as he turned around towards the closet. "For you see, you've failed to realize that there are more victims to your joke."

"Oh, yeah?" Eddy asked. "Who?" Double D pulled out his friend's bags of clothing and extended them towards the duo.

"You and Ed, of course," he replied with a smirk. Ed began to jump for joy, while Eddy simply slouched his shoulders.

"Oh, boy!" they said simultaneously, each with vastly differing levels of enthusiasm.

* * *

The doors of the boys dormitory burst open as Ed ran out of them. He was followed by a cheerful Double D and a growling Eddy. They watched as he began to roll around in the nearby grass.

"I hate new clothes," Eddy growled as he scratched at the collar of his white button down. He had hurriedly put on his clothes that morning, leaving the left side untucked. He did, however, have time to roll up his sleeves that they stopped just under his elbows. The school also provided him with a blue school vest and khaki slacks. He disposed of the cheap dress shoes that he was given in favor of his red tennis shoes.

"At least these clothes are more comfortable than the ones our parents get us," Double D said in an attempt to cheer his friend up.

"Yeah, Eddy," Ed said. "You just gotta get them worn in." Ed had successfully done just that by covering his white button down shirt and blue school vest in dirt and grass stains. The shirt was completely untucked, his collar was disheveled, and his sleeves were rolled up past his elbows. His slacks had mud all over the legs and his tennis shoes were equally dirty.

"Good Lord, Ed," Double D groaned. "You've managed to tarnish your uniform in record time."

"Why, thank you," Ed said as he rubbed his knuckles on his vest.

"That wasn't a compliment, Lumpy," Eddy said.

"Why, thank you," Ed repeated.

"Let's get to school before Ed's train of thought completely departs the station," Double D muttered as he started off towards the main school building.

"Follow the leader, Eddy!" Ed shouted as he grabbed his friend by the arm. Before Eddy could begin to protest, he felt himself being dragged along to the main doors. The three boys stopped as they reached the front door and stared at it with a mixture of concern and fear.

"Do you think that Russell goes to this school, guys?" Ed asked.

"I'd suppose that hoping he transferred yesterday, while irrational, is the only comfort we have left," Double D sighed. Eddy shook his head, effectively ridding himself of his worried expression.

"Come on, guys," he said. "That gorilla won't pull anything crazy here. He stopped when the teacher came, and this place is crawling with them. Let's get moving." His friends nodded reluctantly and followed their de facto leader through the doors. As the trio made their way to the center of the entrance lobby, they noticed a familiar face standing near the stair case.

"Ah, if it isn't the three Eds," Gary said with a smirk.

"Good morning, Gary," Double D politely greeted. This prompted Ed to put on a large smile and wave wildly, while Eddy merely nodded his head in acknowledgement. Ed quickly looked down and noticed that Gary was holding a blue book with the Bullworth coat of arms on its cover.

"What is that?" he asked, pointing towards the book. Gary casually glanced down to his hands and chuckled.

"Before I answer that, you three need to answer my question first," he said. "Did you think about my proposal at all?"

"As a matter of fact," Eddy began to say as he adjusted his collar, "me and the boys talked it over and we've decided to offer our services to the cause."

"Except for Jeeves," Ed laughed. Gary turned to Double D as if to silently ask what the simple-minded Ed was talking about.

"Pay Ed no mind, Gary," Double D said. "While he and Eddy have decided to commit their school year to assisting you in your plan, I'd rather focus my energy on my studies. I have, however, offered to provide support to Ed and Eddy in any other manner outside of any potential mischief and rule breaking action." Gary nodded as if he understood and shrugged in indifference.

"Fair enough," Gary said. "My plan originally called for one kid to do some heavy lifting, but two men of action and another brain should make things go even better." The three Eds quickly glanced back at each other, each shrugging to tell his friends that he had no clue.

"So, just to make it clear," Eddy said. "We're working together now?"

"Absolutely," Gary smiled. "Now to answer the big guy's question..." Gary immediately tossed the book towards Double D.

"Oh, dear," he muttered as he extended his arms. The force of the book immediately brought him to the floor with a resounding thud. Ed and Eddy immediately helped Double D back to his feet and quickly turned their focus to the book. It appeared to be a school yearbook that had the original pages ripped out and replaced with new ones.

"That is my special yearbook," Gary began to explain. "I took the liberty of improving the old model. This version categorized the students into their respective cliques." Double D immediately began to thumb through the book, admiring the attention to detail that Gary had put into it.

"Very impressive, Gary," he remarked. "I can see the amount of detail that you put into this."

"Yeah," Gary sighed. "To be honest, this little plan of mine has become an ambition. With you three on board, I believe that we'll be able to change Bullworth for the better." As the Eds began to respect Gary's plan, an older teen in a dark blue jacket began to approach the four with a stern look on his face.

"You are here to learn, not to goof off," he barked. "Get to class!" As he finished his order, the school bell began to ring. Gary immediately ran off to his class, leaving the Eds behind.

"You heard the guy," Eddy said. "Where do we go next?"

"I noticed that the school has, in surprising fashion, kept us together," Double D said. "Our first class is chemistry." Eddy immediately pointed towards the chemistry classroom.

"Let's go, boys!" he shouted. The trio immediately took off towards the chemistry classroom, charging through the door and immediately faced a balding man in a white lab coat. The old man glared back at them.

"What are you doing here?" the man asked furiously. As soon as he asked, he immediately slapped his hand against his forehead.

"Oh, right," he groaned. "Class. Take care, as we are working with volatile chemicals." Ed, Double D, and Eddy made their way towards a free table.

"What does 'volt-miles' mean?" Ed asked as he began to go through the assortment of beakers on the table.

"Ed, we're in class now," Eddy said, propping his feet up next to the bunsen burner. "Let Double D do the work and try not to get in his way." As his two friends began to get settled, Double D felt his eyes get wider and wider as he looked through the tray of chemicals that the teacher had left for them.

"My word..." he muttered. "This is unbelievable." His words caused Ed and Eddy to regain their focus and sat up in their stools.

"What's wrong, Sockhead?" Eddy asked.

"Charcoal, calcium, chlorate, sulphur..." Double D continued to mutter, ignoring his friend's question. "These are the chemicals most commonly found in firecrackers!" Eddy nearly fell out of his seat, while Ed felt his eyes shoot open wide.

"Cool!" Ed said quietly. He paused dramatically, looked around the room, then immediately jumped out of his seat and extended his arms shouting, "BOOM GOES THE DYNAMITE!" His outburst caused a girl with black hair and glasses to make a mistake with her experiment. The slip up caused a chemical reaction that shot black soot up into her face.

"MISS WU!" the teacher shouted. "Be more careful with your experiment!"

"But Dr. Watts," she began to plead as she cleaned her face. She was soon cut off by the doctor waving his hands.

"No excuses," he said sternly. "Back to work." As Dr. Watts turned away, the girl turned her attention towards the Eds. The boys immediately turned their backs to her in attempt to avoid an awkward moment.

"Ed, you need to keep calm," Double D whispered as he began to set up their experiment.

"Sorry, guys," Ed said with a small frown. "It's like something is making me do things so people can laugh."

"Just eat a textbook and relax, Lumpy," Eddy joked. Ed gave a quick salute and picked up a nearby book. This caused the shortest Ed to slap his forehead in disgust and turn his attention to Double D, who was busy working. After a few minutes of waiting, Eddy's impatience caught up with him.

"So, is it done yet?" Eddy groaned, slamming his hands down on the table. The noise startled Double D into nearly dropping the small red tube and spilling his work onto the floor.

"Eddy!" he whispered harshly. "I do not want to fail our first assignment! Please give me enough time to test the initial mixture."

"Test?" Ed said, dropping a half eaten chemistry book.

"Yes, Ed," Double D said with a smile. "All I need to do is take some of the mixture, and heat it up. If we see a bright orange flash, then the mixture will be the exact proportion for a passing grade." Ed looked towards Eddy for answers.

"If it blows up and looks nice, we get an A," Eddy said. Ed began to bounce in his seat with glee. The two watched as Double D took a small pinch of the mixture and dropped it into a plate on the bunsen burner and covered it with a glass lid.

"I recommend that you wear these protective goggles," Double D said as he extended two pairs of black tinted goggles to his friends. "The burst of light at this range would be more than capable of temporarily blinding us without these." Ed and Eddy dutifully followed his lead and slipped the goggles on their heads. The three boys looked over the plate and waited patiently for the reaction. Soon, the mixture began to smoke, causing Ed and Eddy to intensify their respective gazes. Double D, on the other hand, grew a large smile.

"Here it comes..." he said excitedly. Then, a large orange flash burst forth, causing the Eds to jump back in amazement.

"WOAH!" Eddy shouted.

"Way cool!" Ed laughed.

"Well, Edwards," Dr. Watts said with a smile. "It appears that you have a better understanding for the art of chemistry than I would have expected. Not only will I award you three with an A, I shall send a spare chemistry set to your dorm room. Use it for extra studying. Well done." Before the Eds could start celebrating, the bell to end class rang. The other students began to make their way back into the halls, prompting Ed, Double D, and Eddy to follow suit.

"I must admit," Double D began to say. "While the thought of creating such a destructive compound initially frightened me, I'm pleased and thrilled to know that I can."

"Yeah," Eddy added. "Plus, you could make a ton more! Think of the things we can blow up with a billion firecrackers!"

"Eddy, please!" Double D sighed. "The amount of compound, containers, and wicks it would take is beyond our capabilities. Besides, we shouldn't use them irresponsibly." At that moment, Ed pulled out the firecracker Double D had made and pointed it at Eddy.

"You could put an eye out with them, mister," he said sternly, wagging the firecracker at his friend.

"Ed, we were supposed to dispose of that," Double D said.

"Relax, Sockhead," Eddy said with a pat on his back. "That thing's useless without a lighter. Come on, let's go to the cafeteria. I'm starving." Eddy and Double D made their way towards the cafeteria, leaving a confused Ed standing alone in the hallway. He reached into his other pocket and pulled out a lighter he had grabbed from the table.

"These things are dangerous," he sighed as he switched his gaze between the two objects. "Good thing that Ed can keep them away from dangerous hands."

"ED!" Eddy shouted. "Get the lead out!"

"Lead away, Eddy!" Ed yelled back, pocketing the firecracker and lighter and taking off in a run towards his friends. He caught up to the trio, who were standing in the doorway of the cafeteria. The trio examined the tables and noticed that four distinctive sets of students had taken their respective tables.

"Where do we sit, guys?" Ed asked.

"Nowhere while the cliques are here for lunch," a familiar voice told them. The Eds turned around to see Gary walking up towards them.

"Oh, hello again, Gary," Double D greeted.

"Geez, is this your thing?" Eddy asked.

"What are you talking about?" Gary asked back.

"You show up every time we ask a question about school stuff," Ed droned. Double D and Eddy nodded in agreement.

"Call it a coincidence, if that's what you want to do," Gary sighed. "Unless you don't want to hear what I have to say..."

"Sorry, Gary," Double D began to say. "We didn't mean to be rude. Please, continue." Gary nodded in reply and gestured towards a table filled with a bunch of kids playing a table top RPG.

"Seeing as how you have the yearbook, I'll just give you the quick version," he said. "Over here we have the Nerds. They lack in the finer social and physical abilities, they overcompensate in intelligence. You can find them at the library if you ever lose enough common sense to stay away from them."

"Gee, Ed," Eddy smirked. "Who do we know that sounds exactly like that?" As Double D began to frown, Ed furrowed his brow in deep thought. After a few moments, the tallest Ed snapped his fingers.

"Plank!" he cheered. Eddy slapped his head in frustration.

"I'm going to put a stop to this joke before it catches up with me," Double D muttered. He then turned his attention towards the table with multiple students in light blue school sweaters and vests socializing.

"Who might they be, Gary?" he asked.

"Those are the Preps," the brown-haired student droned on. "Years of inbreeding has made them virtually brainless. They're dependent on trust funds and snobbery to get their way around school." Ed and Double D watched nervously as Eddy's greedy grin returned.

"Pockets full of cash and heads full of air," Eddy grinned. "My favorite kind of pigeon."

"I'll bet that you have a few good ideas for them," Gary chuckled. "Now, let's move on to the next group, the Greasers." The Eds then looked towards a group of kids in leather jackets and greased-back hair.

"They look like extras from a musical, guys," Ed commented.

"You're smarter than you look, Ed," Gary half-complemented, causing Ed to hug himself in joy. "These guys, while stuck in a decade that their grandparents grew up in, are tougher than the average student. They also have control over the auto shop." The Eds nodded as if they understood, then turned their attention towards the final table. Their were multiple kids in Letterman jackets and wrestling sweaters occupying their time by arm wrestling.

"Last, and certainly not least, the Jocks," Gary said. "They are the kings of the school. They earned their position through pure power and popularity. No one can touch them."

"They do seem very intimidating," Double D said nervously.

"They remind me of Kevin..." Eddy growled. "I can't wait to take them down." Before the four could sit down for lunch, the bell rang out.

"Time for class again, friends," Gary sighed. "Better not be late." The Eds watched as he ran off again.

"Great, we didn't get lunch," Eddy moaned. As he said that, a student walked past them, dumping his tray into the nearby garbage can.

"Consider yourself lucky," he muttered as he ran past them. Ed, out of curiosity, reached into the trash and pulled out a tray of grey slop. He sniffed it, then licked his lips.

"Smells like cotton gravy!" he shouted as he dumped it down his mouth. Eddy and Double D watched in fear and disgust as Ed began to look in the garbage for more.

"Ed!" Double D shouted. "Control yourself, man!" Eddy immediately grabbed his friend by his collar and pulled him out into the hallway.

"You're an animal, Ed," he groaned.

"Yes, I am," Ed smirked. "Hey, guys, did you know that Plank could tell the future?"

"What are you blabbing about, Lumpy?" Eddy asked.

"I remember it like it was only chapter 2," Ed said. "'Guys that play sports and have really big muscles, kids with the brains to come up with all kinds of humiliation, dudes that act like punks from the 50's, people with enough money to get away with anything, and others who just like to beat up on small people like us'."

"That is a direct quote," Double D said in awe. Eddy shook his head and slapped his friends on their shoulders.

"Aw, he just got lucky," Eddy sighed. "Come on, we're going to be late to class. What's next?"

"English, Eddy," Double D said.

"I learned that language at home, guys!" Ed shouted. He grabbed his friends by their arms and dragged them off towards their next class.

* * *

**Well, that was the Eds first class in Bullworth. No surprise they'd get an A, but who knew that Ed was so caring about public safety. Well, reviews make my day, as well as give me more to consider for the next chapter. Shoot me some.**

**Peace.**


	5. The Setup

**Another chapter? So soon? It's the end of the world as we know it! Well, not really. Just trying to make up for lost time, you know? No more distractions.**

**Enjoy.**

* * *

"Was it just me, or was that teacher acting funny?" Eddy asked as he made his way out of the English classroom.

"Are you alluding to the fact that Mr. Galloway appeared to exhibit all the signs of a person who has imbibed massive amounts of alcohol?" Double D asked his friend as he followed him back into the hallway.

"He looked like Rudolph the Reindeer and he made his S's sound funny, guys," Ed stated with a smile as he joined his friends. Ed and Eddy laughed at Ed's observations, while Double D merely shook his head in disapproval.

"While I understand your juvenile need to mock those that act foolish," he said as he stopped in front of the front exit. "I feel that Mr. Galloway should be seeking help for his obvious problems. I mean, what would cause a man to lose his good sense and drink in a school?"

"Who cares?" Eddy sighed. "If him being sauced keeps the class work that easy, then I'd consider donating to the cause."

"I must admit," Double D muttered, ignoring Eddy's other comments. "Vocabulary puzzles that would be found in the Sunday paper seems..."

"Like a minigame?" Ed suggested.

"Whatever you say, Monobrow," Eddy said. "Come on, boys. Class is over, that means we can take some well deserved time to ourselves." Ed and Double D nodded their approval as they followed their leader out the doors. As they stepped into the sunlight, they found themselves face to face with Doctor Crabblesnitch, who was standing between the Eds and the stairs.

"Well, good morning, gentlemen," the headmaster said matter-of-factly.

"Good morning, Dr. Crabblesnitch," Double D politely greeted. Ed gave a big wave while Eddy did his best to hide a scowl.

"Normally, I wouldn't bother coming out to meet with students, but it seems that you three have far exceeded my expectations of your cases," Dr. Crabblesnitch explained.

"What do you mean, Doctor Cribbage?" Ed asked, causing the headmaster to slap his forehead in frustration and Eddy to force back his laughter.

"Crabblesnitch, Edward," he groaned. "And what I mean is the events that transpired yesterday after you left my office." The Eds immediately looked away from the doctor. He interpreted their body language as an opening to continue.

"Well, while I'll admit that Wade has developed a notorious record for his hijinks, the fact that you three responded on his level is unacceptable," he continued. "Fighting and bullying is not the Bullworth way, my boys."

"You could've fooled me," Eddy muttered under his breath. Unfortunately for him, he was louder than he intended, as Dr. Crabblesnitch raised a curious eyebrow.

"What was that?" he asked sternly.

"I said, 'You could've fooled me'," Eddy repeated. "Me and the boys have been here two days and even Ed can tell you that this place stinks!"

"He pulled on her hair and pushed them around, Doctor Cabbage Patch!" Ed protested.

"My companions have made a good point, sir," Double D added. "This school seems to have a bit of a problem with its students and the bullying that appears to run rampant on the grounds." The headmaster responded with a scoff and a dismissive wave of his hand.

"Nonsense," he said. "What you experienced was just a minor case of hazing induced by our school spirit. Why, in my day, we thought nothing ill of castrating the new boys."

"That sounds naughty," Ed commented. Eddy nodded in agreement while Double D groaned at his friend's ignorance. Dr. Crabblesnitch, however, ignored the comment and droned on.

"I expect the three of you to have learned something from this conversation," he said. "You will avoid more mishaps like this and I will not have to spend any more time reminding you to do so. Are we clear?"

"Yes, sir," Double D said. "We shall do everything in our power to avoid any more mishaps." This caused the headmaster to smile and nod.

"Very well," he said. "Be on your way, then." The Eds watched as the doctor reentered the school. As soon as he was out of sight, Eddy blew a raspberry in the direction of the school.

"I'm getting really tired of that guy," he muttered.

"He's only doing his job, Eddy," Double D sighed. "You should respect the man for what he's trying to do." Before Eddy could reply, a student walked out from behind the brick pillar. He was dressed similarly to the other bullies, but with wavy brown hair and a few acne marks on his forehead.

"Hey, Sock Dome," he spat. "I saw you sucking up to Crabblesnitch back there."

"First off, that nickname sucked," Eddy shot back. "Second, why don't you take a hike?" Ed began to ball up his fists, while Double D shook his head.

"This is starting to get out of hand!" he shouted as he made his way between his friends and the bully. "Isn't there some way that we can make peace among ourselves?"

"Screw that, Suck Up," the bully smirked. "This is what we do to teacher's pets like you." The Eds watched as he pulled a wooden slingshot from his back pocket and aim it towards Double D. The sock-headed Ed stood in fear as the bully pulled the sling back.

"YOU BETTER NOT DO...!" Eddy shouted. It was too late, as a small pebble flew out and struck Double D in the forehead. The impact caused him to fall to the ground, clutching his face in pain.

"YEEOUCH!" he screamed. Ed and Eddy immediately rushed to him and knelt down, allowing the bully to make his escape. He jumped the protective railing and took off towards the back of the school.

"Hahaha!" he laughed. "Plenty more where that came from, losers!"

"Double D's been hit, Eddy!" Ed shouted in fear.

"Come on, Sockhead!" Eddy pleaded. "Speak to me! Let us know you're ok!" Double D's hands began to shake, followed by his arms, then the rest of his body. He curled his hands into fists and pulled them away from his face, revealing his rage-filled eyes.

"THAT TEARS IT!" he shouted. Ed and Eddy jumped back as their friend shot up from the ground and took off in a sprint down the stairs.

"Double D's mad, Eddy," Ed commented.

"Can't say that I blame him," Eddy added. "Come on. Let's back him up." Ed saluted and followed his friend as they chased after Double D. They caught up to their friend, who was standing over a fallen student. As they caught up to their friend, Ed knelt down to help the student while Eddy approached Double D.

"Double D, I thought you'd have caught that kid by now," Eddy commented.

"Rest assured, my rage has not been calmed," Double D explained. "But that doesn't mean that my good nature will be forgotten."

"Petey's back on his feet," Ed said as he brushed off the boy.

"Thanks, guys," Pete said. "Boy, Davis was in a hurry."

"Who's that?" Ed asked.

"One of Russell's boys," he explained. "His name's Davis. Maybe you've seen him. He's got brown hair and a slingshot and..." At the mentioning of Davis' description, Double D grabbed Pete by his collar and pulled him in close.

"Where did that delinquent go?" he commanded. Pete began to break out in a nervous sweat, much to Ed and Eddy's surprise. He turned around to face the statue of a man with a bull head throwing a football and pointed towards it.

"H-h-he ran past the fountain and made a turn for the junk yard behind the shop class," Pete stammered. While under normal circumstances, Double D would have thanked Pete for his assistance. Instead, he took off towards the fountain, leaving his friends behind.

"I didn't know that Double D got so mad," Pete remarked.

"We've been with him since we were in diapers and we've never seen him get like this," Eddy remarked with a slap to Pete's back. "This must be some school to get him like this." Ed, fearing that he and Eddy had been away from Double D long enough, grabbed Eddy by the arm and took off.

"Eddy!" Ed shouted. "Double D! Trouble! Big!" As his friends made their way towards the statue, Double D had rounded the corner and watched as Davis had shut a heavy gate behind him.

"Take care of this nerd for me, Wade!" he shouted. Wade stepped out from behind a nearby trash can, smirking in Double D's direction. The nerdy Ed stopped in his tracks, a small twinge of fear overtaking him. He shook it away, and pointed defiantly towards the bully standing between him and his goal.

"Stand aside, Wade," Double D said. "I'm only looking to settle a dispute with Davis."

"Oh, no, nerd," Wade snickered. "You and your dumb friends still have a score to settle with me." The bully proceeded to slowly approach Double D, who felt his confidence slowly fade away with every step.

"Tell you what, though," the bully said. "Seeing as how I'm going to pulverize you, I'll give you a chance. I'll let you punch me one time, as hard as you can." Double D watched as his opponent closed his eyes and defiantly smirked, confident that he would be able to take the hit.

_Curse my loss of self contro,_ Double D thought. _Perhaps if I run now, I could..._ His thoughts were cut off by the sound of something flying past his ear and towards Wade's face.

BIFF! The impact of a familiar fist against the eye of the bully echoed in the still air. The only sound that Wade made after that was the sound of his back making contact with the sidewalk. Double D turned to see Ed brushing his hand off on his dirty school vest, smiling his usual smile.

"Hey, Double D!" he greeted cheerfully.

"Hello, Ed," Double D said. "Where's Eddy?" Ed looked over Double D's shoulder and began to laugh.

"Taking out the trash," he chuckled. Double D turned around to see the shortest Ed dragging Wade to the garbage can. While he struggled with lifting the bully, he still managed to stuff him into the receptacle.

"You actually make the trash could look worse," Eddy jeered the unconscious victim. He then turned to his friends, his smirk transforming into a look of concern.

"Did your brain finally blow a gasket, Sockhead?" he asked.

"I know," Double D sighed. "I'm not sure why I overreacted, but I can assure you..."

"Geez, now I know how you feel when we cut you off," Eddy groaned. "Me and Ed don't care if you want to rearrange that jerk's face."

"Then what do you..." Double D tried to say before Eddy covered his mouth.

"What I mean is why did you go off without us?" Eddy continued to ask. "Didn't we say we were in this together?" Ed then took the opportunity to put his friends in headlocks.

"We three are a team!" he cheered. "Nothing will tear us apart! We're like three rocks fused together by the molten breath of the sulfur dragon of Hades!"

"What Lumpy said," Eddy added. "If you're going to fight, then we're fighting with you." Double D felt his eyes tear up, and while he wasn't sure if it was from the sentiment or the odor, he prefered to consider it the former.

"Thank you, fellows," he sniffled. Sensing an emotional speech, Eddy immediately broke free from Ed's grip and waved his hand dismissively.

"Alright, enough of the mush fest," he said. "We got some business to get to. Ed?"

"Yes, Eddy?" Ed replied.

"Would you kindly open the gate?" Eddy requested, gesturing towards the heavy metal barricade. Ed snapped a salute and chuckled.

"A man chooses, Eddy," he babbled as he grabbed hold of the doors. He slowly began to pry the heavy doors open, a small sweat building on his brow.

"Open..." Ed said in a strained voice. "Says-a-Ed!" As he finished his sentence, the gate doors flew aside with a loud crash. Double D and Eddy rushed to their friend's side in case any bullies were waiting on the other side.

"Getting kinda rusty, huh, Big Guy?" Eddy asked with a pat on his friend's back.

"It's been a while since I moved anything heavy, Eddy," Ed began to explain.

"No worries, Ed," Double D said. "You still did a good job." The compliment caused Ed to give his friend a big smile, which was soon cut off by Eddy snapping them back to reality.

"I don't see Davis...or anyone for that matter," he muttered. "What gives?" Ed and Double D looked on to the shop class and saw that it was totally vacant. The lack of noise added into the eerie nature of their situation.

"Bah, who cares?" Eddy eventually muttered. "He couldn't have gotten far. Let's go find that jerk."

"Together," Ed said, pounding his fists together.

"Together," Double D smiled, nodding towards his friends. Eddy didn't respond with the word. Instead, he nodded and gestured for his friends to follow him. The trio then jogged around the fence towards the back of the shop class, coming across a building that had a pull down metal door. Ed didn't even need to be told as he dutifully grabbed ahold of the bottom of the door and lifted it. He threw it up, locking the gate into place. However, he and his friends stood shocked as they discovered what was behind the door.

"Crap..." Eddy groaned. The trio backed up as three bullies slowly approached them. The blonde bully began cracking his knuckles as he approached Eddy. The black bully held a yard stick in his hand as he glared at Ed. The bully with the blackened right eye stared down Double D.

"You three ain't getting past us," the blonde bully spat.

"Yeah," the black bully added. "You guys are no match for our fighting styles combined."

"Just shut the hell up and do something!" Eddy shouted. With that, he jumped towards the blonde bully and tackled him in the ground. As Eddy began to struggle with his opponent, Ed stood defiantly as he watched his enemy raise the yard stick over his head. He swung the weapon downwards only for it to be stopped by Ed clapping his hands on it.

"A perfect sword block," the bully said in awe. Ed took the opportunity to pull the ruler out of his hands. He turned to Double D, who was stuck in a corner.

"Double D!" Ed shouted. "Catch!" He tossed the yard stick high in air towards his friend.

"Not again..." Double D muttered as he raised his arms up and shut his eyes. He soon felt the sting of the yard stick as it struck him on the top of his head. The nerdy Ed rubbed the top of his head in pain as the stick clattered to the ground.

"What a freakin' loser!" the black-eyed bully laughed, clutching his sides as he started to roll on the ground. Double D turned to face Ed, who was in the process of putting the black bully into a headlock.

"Why did you throw that measuring tool at my head, Ed?" the nerdy Ed asked.

"Use the force!" Ed shouted as he released his opponent from the headlock. The stench of his pits put the bully into a daze, leaving him open for a knockout punch. The bully smacked into the wall, sliding down the wall into a heap.

"We don't have time for movie quotes, Lumpy!" Eddy shouted as he delivered an atomic wedgie to the blonde bully. The bully began to wander around until he tripped over a trash can.

"Movie quotes..." Double D muttered, then quickly snapped his fingers as he finally understood what Ed meant. He then picked up the yard stick and swung it directly at the head of the black-eyed bully. The weapon broke over the side of his head, causing the bully to fall to the ground.

"YEOUCH!" he howled, clutching his right eye. "That was a cheap shot..." Double D stared at the broken piece of the yard stick in his hand, amazed that he was capable of subduing an enemy like that.

"The force was strong with you," Ed said cheerfully.

"It's strange how easy that was," Double D pondered. "Have I always been capable of such feats?"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah," Eddy said. "Really dramatic stuff, Sock Head. Now, can we please take care of Davis so we can get to the dorm?" Ed and Double D nodded and entered the tool room. Ed approached the second metal gate and pulled it up. As the Eds exited to the empty lot, they looked to their left and saw their target.

"You've got to be kidding me!" Eddy angrily shouted. While the Eds were taking care of Davis' friends, the bully had taken the time to create a large wall composed entirely of junk. He stood on top of the structure, his slingshot drawn back and aimed at the trio.

"Take this, weaklings!" Davis shouted as he released the sling. The Eds ducked as a pebble whizzed past their heads and hit the brick wall behind them.

"Take cover!" Eddy shouted as he ran towards three metal trash cans. Ed grabbed Double D by the arm and jumped over the cans. Unfortunately, he didn't notice that Eddy was crouching in Ed's path.

"Ooof!" The three boys grunted as they collided.

"Soft landing," Ed said with a smile. Eddy peeked his head out from under Ed and growled.

"Oh, Ed..." he said in a sing-song voice. Ed looked around the area for his friend, frowning slightly as his search failed.

"Where are you, Eddy?" he shouted.

"Look down, Lummox," Eddy said calmly. Ed followed the order and smiled as he found his friend.

"Hi, Eddy!" Ed greeted.

"Hey, Ed," Eddy returned. "Now that we've been introduced...WOULD YOU GET OFFA ME NOW!?"

"Ok, Eddy," Ed said as he rolled over, allowing Eddy to catch his breath. The sound of pebbles hitting the trash can brought the boys back to the situation at hand.

"What are we going to do?" Double D asked nervously. "We can't reach Davis while he's firing at us."

"You're the idea guy," Eddy said. "Come up with something...Wait! What about the firecracker Ed took?" Ed, reacting to the cue, pulled the firecracker out of his pocket and stood up to throw it.

"No, Ed!" Double D shouted as he pulled him back down.

"Don't tell me that you're going to tell us we can't fight back now?" Eddy groaned.

"At this moment, I wouldn't dream of it," Double D explained. "It's just that the firecracker will do virtually nothing unless lit."

"If only we had a lighter," Ed sighed as he pulled the lighter from his pocket. Double D and Eddy stared at their friend in disbelief.

"Ed, where did you get that?" Double D calmly asked.

"Who cares where he got it?" Eddy shouted. "Ed! You need to use the lighter!"

"How do I do that, Eddy?" Ed asked, scratching his head with the lighter.

"Ok, Ed," Double D said slowly. "All you need to do is pull the trigger..."

"Ok," Ed said as he followed the instructions. He marvelled at the orange flame that came from the end.

"Good, now just light the fuse and throw..." Before he could finish his sentence, Ed brought the fuse of the firecracker to the fire and watched as the sparks began to fly from the shrinking fuse.

"ED!" Double D and Eddy shouted.

"What?" Ed asked.

"THROW THE FIREWORK!" Double D screamed, pointing towards Davis's direction. Ed nodded and stood up dramatically. He threw the firework with all his might, watching as it collided with the bully's chest. It exploded upon impact, letting out a loud boom and a large burst of orange light.

"Wooaaahh!" Davis shouted as he felt the structure start to give way underneath his feet. Double D and Eddy stood up to join their friend as they watched the bully fell to the ground, flinching as the junk wall toppled over him.

"He's going to feel that in the morning," Eddy commented. "Nice work, boys."

"Mission accomplished!" Ed cheered as he ran towards the junk pile and rooted through its contents. While he searched, his friends sat down on the concrete.

"You did alright in that last fight, Double D," Eddy sighed as he rubbed his shoulder. "Still want to be the butler?"

"Eddy, what will we gain if I start repeating the actions of today?" Double D asked as he adjusted his hat.

"More of us against the rest of them," Eddy said matter-of-factly. "Come on, what do you have to lose?"

"Well, my permanent record, for starters," Double D said. "My clean conscience. Not to mention..."

"So don't mention it," Eddy said, cutting off his friend. "Come on, Edd. You kicked that guy's ass back there. You managed to make sure Ed didn't waste the firecracker. And I guarantee that none of these losers are going to bother telling on us unless they want some trouble, too." Double D didn't say anything for a while, taking the time to reevaluate the situation that he was in. After a few moments, he looked back at his friend and sighed.

"I suppose it can't be helped," he said. "Very well. You and Ed may count me in." This caused Eddy to let out an approving smile. Meanwhile, Ed approached his friends with a hand behind his back.

"How now, Brown Cow?" he asked with a large grin. Double D and Eddy stood up, brushing the dirt off their clothes.

"Well, Ed," Eddy said. "Double D has decided to give up being a butler for a life of action with us." This caused Ed to jump for joy and hug the sock-headed Ed with his free arm.

"HOORAY!" he cheered. "You are Jeeves no more!"

"Correct, Ed," Double D choked out. "Would you please release me." Ed happily obliged, allowing Double D to step back. At that moment, he noticed that his friend was hiding something.

"Ed, what do you have behind your back?" Double D asked. Ed grinned and extended his hand, revealing the slingshot that Davis was using to torment them.

"As the newest member of the League of Super-Duper Eds," he said dramatically. "I present to you a trophy from your first successful mission!" Ed grabbed Double D's hand and gave him the slingshot.

"Ed, this doesn't belong to me," Double D began to explain. Eddy quickly put his arm around his friend's shoulder, stopping him from talking his way out of receiving the gift.

"Better in your hands than with a jerk like Davis," he retorted. "Come on, I'll get a round of soda and you can use the cans as target practice. What do you say?" The nerdy Ed looked at his friends, who were smiling back at him, and shook his head.

"I suppose that I can't argue with you two," Double D sighed. "Thank you for the gift, Ed."

"Thank Davis, Double D," Ed said as the trio made their way past the junk pile and towards the school parking lot.

"Yeah, send him a thank you," Eddy chuckled. "Carve it in a rock and shoot it at him." This caused the three boys to laugh all the way back to the dorm rooms.

* * *

**Double D's had all he can stand, and he can't stand no more! Now that they have combined their full forces, nothing will be able to stop them. Or...will there be? Guess you're going to have to read more to find out. Also, send reviews. They make me feel creative and special.**

**Peace.**


	6. Stuffed Lockers

**Well, guess who's back? Back again? Yeah, I know. It's starting to get old. I agree. I'm trying to do work, but circumstances. Here's to hoping that high quality can compensate for lack of regularity, and that I soon acquire the latter to go along with the former.**

**This one is special, also. This chapter is a new mission, just for the Eds. Granted, it's not too high on action, but I liked it. Hope you do too.**

**Enjoy.**

* * *

_Fwhip! Ping! Clunk!_

_Fwhip! Ping! Clunk!_

_Fhwip! Ping! Clunk!_

Ed, Eddy, and Pete marveled at the sight of Beam Cola cans flying off the homemade stand and into the trash can placed behind it.

"Amazing!" Pete said.

"Way neat!" Ed cheered.

"Where did you learn to use that thing?" Eddy asked. The marksman immediately put the slingshot back into his pocket and turned to his audience smiling.

"It's funny that you ask," Double D said with a grin. "The explanation involves an enlightening lesson of the physics of elasticity and the effects of the weight of..." He stopped himself as he saw his audience, save for Pete, was beginning to lose interest with him.

"I am just that good, fellows," he groaned. Eddy immediately perked up and smiled.

"Cool story, Sock Head," he said, giving his friend a thumbs up.

"I still can't believe you managed to get that from Davis," Pete said.

"Oh, he was easy to beat!" Eddy boasted. "Him and those other jerks were nothing compared to us!"

"Trent, Ethan, and Tom," Double D interjected.

"Who?" Ed asked.

"Last night, after we returned to our room, I took some time to go over Gary's yearbook," Double D explained. "The one that you punched was Ethan, the one Eddy dealt with was Trent, and the one I hit with the yard stick was Tom."

"Why should we care about their names, anyway?" Eddy asked, a frown replacing his smirk. "They don't care about who we are!"

"Well, Eddy," Double D began. "The reasons are simple. For starters, it will make them easier to identify rather than going by physical and behavioral characteristics. Also, as the future kings of Bullworth, knowing one's 'subjects' will provide a stronger respect than if it were attained solely on brute force and maintained through fear." Eddy crossed his arms and huffed in response.

"Whatever," he muttered.

"Don't worry, Eddy," Ed said, patting Eddy on the head. "This will help your karma shift to the blue. Soon you'll be a guardian, then a champion, and then a hero!" While Pete stared at Ed in confusion, Double D and Eddy ignored their friend's reference.

"That's nice, Ed," Double D said politely. As Ed let his grin grow, the bells from the school began to toll, letting the children who had yet to come to the school that they had thirty minutes before the first classes would begin.

"I gotta get to class," Pete said meekly. "See you guys later." Before the Eds could say their goodbyes, Pete had already taken off out of the front lot of the boys dormitory and was on his way to class.

"Perhaps we should follow Pete's example and make our way to class," Double D said as he placed his slingshot into his pocket. Eddy and Ed dutifully followed their sock headed friend and soon found themselves under the shadow of the school once again. The three boys, rather than pause before entering, casually opened the doors and made their way into the main hall, which was noticeably void of other students.

"Well, boys," Eddy began. "If the past two days have done anything, it's let us know that things can only get worse around here." The statement caused Ed to quickly snap his gaze towards every branching hallway, expecting to see white shirts and blue jeans around the corners just waiting to jump the group. Double D, doing his best to rationally calm his fear, cleared his throat and adjusted his school tie.

"Come now, Eddy," he said. "We're in the safety of the school, where we have prefects and teachers that will keep order. The risk that they would have to take to retaliate would be too great." Eddy nodded as if he understood, while Ed continued to look out for any attack.

"Good point," Eddy said with a smile. "Just to make sure, I'm going to say something that I've never said before. Let's get to class quick! Come on, Monobrow." Eddy grabbed Ed by his sweater vest and dragged him towards the chemistry room.

"Wait, fellows!" Double D cried out. "We don't have chemistry today. We have to go to the art room." His friends turned around to see him pointing up the staircase towards the upper left wing. Ed smiled and broke free from Eddy's grip to run up the stairs. As he left his friends behind, Eddy let a small frown as he joined Double D.

"I hate art," he mumbled. "The teacher's always some old hag who keeps giving me grief about coloring inside the lines."

"Art can be very liberating if you give it a chance, Eddy," Double D began to politely argue. He was soon cut off at the sight of Ed putting his ear against a locker with a grin on his face.

"Hello?" he called out.

"I think that Ed's finally starting to get comfortable with his surroundings," Double D said.

"Let's stop him before he invites it to lunch," Eddy chuckled. "ED! Get over here!" Ed turned to face his friends.

"There's someone inside, guys!" he shouted as he pointed towards the locker.

"I'm sure that it's just your imagination, Ed," Double D said as he and Eddy walked over to their friend.

"Yeah, Lumpy," Eddy added. "You need to lay off the comics." As the three began to walk away, they heard the sound of knocking against metal. The Eds stopped in their tracks, turning to face the locker.

"I think Ed might've been right," Double D said.

"Told you so," Ed said, defiantly sticking his tongue out at his friends.

"Would someone kindly let me out?" a voice called out from inside the locker. "I suffer from claustrophobia, and it's getting harder to breathe in here."

"Stay calm!" Double D called out. "We'll get you out."

"How do we do that?" Ed asked.

"Simple, Ed," Eddy said. "You just rip the door off its hinges." Ed nodded and gave a salute. As he reached out towards the door, he felt the sharp sting of Double D slapping his hands back down.

"I refuse to allow you to deface school property," he sternly said. "We'll get a prefect to open the locker for us." Ed proceeded to shake the pain out of his hands while Eddy scowled.

"That's going to take forever!" he groaned.

"Well then, I suppose you have a better idea to rescue the captive student?" Double D sarcastically asked. Eddy cracked his knuckles, pushed Double D aside, and gripped the tumbler.

"Watch and learn, boys," he said confidently. "You might be cool enough to know how to do this one day." Double D and Ed watched as their friend pressed his ear against the locker and began to turn the tumbler with the greatest of care. After two minutes, Eddy stepped back and, with a grin, opened the locker door. As he did, an overweight student in a light green sweater vest, glasses, and a pencil behind his ear stumble out and fall to the floor. Ed and Double D knelt down and helped the nerd to his feet.

"How outrageous!" the nerd shouted. "Those evil doers shall not get away with this! They have failed to realize that they have crossed paths with Melvin, the grand warmage of Toronia!"

"Geez," Eddy groaned. "You're welcome, you rounder-than-the-round-table wizard."

"Eddy!" Double D shouted. "That was uncalled for."

"No, I'll tell you what is uncalled for!" Melvin complained. "Fellow members of my guild were absconded by the bullies and suffer the same fate as I did. To make matters worse, I believe that they were struck with a binding spell!"

"English, dork," Eddy growled, ignoring the fact that he sounded almost too much like his old enemy. This snapped the nerd out of his role playing and back to reality.

"Algie, Donald, and Thad were stuffed inside lockers like I was, but they were bound and gagged so they couldn't call for help," he explained. "Please, you got to help them!" Ed stuck his chest out and put his hands to his hips.

"The League of Super-Duper Eds shall help those in need!" he said dramatically. Meanwhile, Eddy was making his way towards the art room.

"Fat chance," Eddy said. "I ain't doing anything else for this clown." Ed and Double D looked on at their friend in shock, while Melvin quickly reached into his pocket. He pulled out a small bundle of dollar bills and waved them in the air.

"Perhaps the brave knights would be inclined to help in return for a reward!" he called out. The shortest Ed stopped dead in his tracks, turning his head to look back at the cash that was dancing before his eyes. A large smile overtook his face, and he immediately ran towards the nerd with his hands extended.

"CASH!" Eddy cried out. Before he could grab the money, the nerd immediately put it back in his pocket.

"First you shall complete the quest, then you will receive the promised reward," he said. Eddy scowled at first, but the thought of getting paid soon made him let go of his anger and smile.

"Fair enough, Sir Pays-a-Lot," Eddy said. "You know where we should go?"

"They stuffed me in my locker, so I'm certain they can be found in theirs," the nerd said. "I'll write them down for you." As he wrote them down, Double D raised a curious eyebrow.

"If that was your locker, and you were able to speak, why didn't you tell us the combon..." he began to say before Eddy covered his mouth.

"Mind your manners, Sock Head," he whispered. "The kid's paying good money for this job. You can tell him what he did wrong after we get paid." As he released his friend, the nerd handed Ed a scrap of paper.

"Make haste, fair knights!" Melvin dramatically said. "It would destroy my allies if they missed their classes." Double D and Eddy nodded and turned to Ed, who was analyzing the paper by holding it upside down.

"I didn't know that we had 800 lockers here, guys," Ed said, causing Eddy to slap his forehead. Double D politely grabbed the paper and turned it right side up.

"While I appreciate your enthusiasm, Ed," he began, "We only have fifteen minutes before class starts, and, like our employer, I'd rather not be tardy."

"Then lead the way, Double D," Ed said. After a few seconds, Double D pointed towards the stairs.

"The lockers are all on the bottom floor," he stated. "And according to this, Algie's locker is closest."

"Tally-ho!" Ed shouted as he grabbed his friends by the arms and dragged them down to the main hall.

"Go, Monobrow!" Eddy cheered as Ed ran towards the location of the first locker. The trio stopped in front of it, giving Double D a chance to rub his shoulder.

"Could we please make our way to the next locker without attempting to dislocate our shoulders?" he asked.

"Awww..." Ed cooed. "Baby want to go furniture shopping?" Double D shot a glare at his friend, while Eddy approached the locker.

"In what universe does that begin to make any sense?" Double D shouted.

"Could you two turn the freakin' volume down?" Eddy whispered harshly. "Geez...and they say I'm too loud." Ed stuck his tounge out at Eddy while Double D glared at Ed. Eddy focused on the lock, listening carefully for the locks tumbling. As the third click sounded, Eddy pulled open the door to reveal the nerd with the curly red hair and the denim shorts, his arms tied up and a sock stuck in his mouth.

"I haven't seen this since our run ins with the Kankers," Double D said as he began to untie the rope.

"Don't say the 'K' word around me again," Eddy told his friend. "I just stopped having nightmares." As he said that, Double D had managed to free Algie from his binds. The nerd pulled a sock out of his mouth, and began to stomp in anger.

"Those...Those..." he fumed, trying to come up with a clever insult.

"Bullies?" Ed suggested.

"Right!" Algie exclaimed. "Thank you..." He turned to face his heroes, only to look at the Eds in fear. He remembered what had happened the previous day when they humiliated him in front of the school, and didn't want to repeat the incident.

"P-please, don't hurt me," he whimpered. "I didn't do anything."

"Really, Algie, we don't want to do you harm," Double D said in an attempt to comfort him.

"Yeah, Pee-body," Eddy quipped. "If we wanted you in pain, we wouldn't have helped you in the first place. Now get to class before you make a puddle." Algie didn't stick around to defend himself. Instead he ran off down the hall, leaving the Eds behind.

"Where to next?" Eddy asked.

"Firstly, Eddy, I'm appalled by your behavior to Algie," Double D said sternly. "We're trying to stop the bullies, not take their place."

"Thanks for the newsflash, Cronkite," Eddy quipped. "Here's one for you. We only got about ten minutes before class starts, so save the preaching for lunch. Where's the next locker?"

"Donald's locker is over this way," Double D sighed, giving up on his attempt to teach his friend the importance of manners. He gestured for his friends to follow him as he ran towards the destination.

"Come on, Ed," Eddy said as he ran off towards Double D. Ed, who wasn't paying attention, took off in the opposite direction.

"ED!" Double D and Eddy shouted. This caused Ed to make a U-turn and follow after his friends, laughing at his blunder. The trio then made their way to a locker near the boy's bathroom. They stopped in front of Donald's locker, and Eddy wasted no time in starting to pick the lock.

"This is the easiest money we've ever earned!" he laughed. As he worked, the sound of a toilet flushing caused the trio to look towards the bathroom. They watched as Trent walked out into the hall, who immediately saw the Eds attempting to break Donald out of his prison.

"HEY!" Trent shouted. "You three better get away before I kick your ass!" He began to run towards the boys, fists clenched and looking to fight.

"ED!" Eddy shouted. "Hold him off for me will you?" Ed didn't respond to his friend's request. Instead, he rushed towards the attacker and tackled him with all his might.

"OOF!" the blonde bully grunted as he was taken to the ground. Ed perched himself on top of his opponent and proceeded to deliver punches towards his head. through the echoes of the blows, Eddy managed to pick the lock with little difficulty. He and Double D managed to prevent the skinny nerd with half moon-glasses and strawberry blonde hair parted down the middle from falling.

"Before you start screaming or asking questions," Eddy began as he undid the ropes, "yes, we helped you out. Yes, Ed's beating the crap out of Trent. And yeah, you better get to class before more of these idiots show up."

"I've added their names to my list," Donald muttered as he pulled the sock out of his mouth. "I will have my revenge." Before Double D and Eddy could question it, the nerd had already taken off for safety.

"Kids these days are weird," Eddy muttered. He turned his attention to Ed, who was still whaling on Trent. Eddy snapped his fingers, grabbing his friend's attention.

"Yes, Eddy?" Ed innocently asked.

"Take five, Lumpy," Eddy smirked. "Blondie's had enough." Ed nodded and rose to his feet.

"That...was...the worst..." Trent groaned as he clutched his face.

"Where's the last locker, guys?" Ed asked as he dusted his hands off on his pants.

"According to Melvin, Thad's locker is on the other side of the school," Double D explained. The Eds looked up towards the clock on the wall, realizing that they only had seven minutes left before class started.

"TIME KEEPS TICKING, GUYS!" Ed shouted as he grabbed his friends by their arms and ran.

"WOOHOOHOOHOO!" Eddy cheered, while Double D grabbed onto his shoulder in pain. As they got closer, Ed stopped dead in his tracks, causing his friends to collide with his back. While they fell to the ground, he stood quietly in place.

"What the..." Eddy began to shout, before Ed cut him off by covering his mouth with his hand.

"Shh, Eddy," Ed whispered. "The HUD says there's bad guys around the corner." Eddy wrestled himself free and glared at his friend.

"What are you talking..." He attempted to speak again and met the same reaction from Ed. While the two struggled, Double D peeked around the corner and immediately realized what Ed sensed.

"Eddy," he whispered. "There are two bullies standing outside Thad's locker." Eddy and Ed stopped their argument and Eddy looked around towards the locker. He noticed that it was Wade and Davis.

"Well if it isn't our best friends," Eddy scowled. "Good eye, Monobrow."

"I have two of them, Eddy," Ed said cheerfully.

"While I'm sure that you could continue this, we don't have much more time left," Double D said. "We need to get rid of Wade and Davis before we can help Thad."

"How do we do that?" Eddy asked. "Ed can't beat them both up, and I need to get to the lock quick." After thinking for a minute, Double D smiled a gap toothed grin.

"Ed, do you remember how they stopped the wolf man in the _Lunar_ _Lobotomizer_?" he asked his friend. Ed paused for a few seconds, then let out a big smile.

"I see where your going to, Double D," he said. As Double D gave him a thumbs up, Eddy watched on confused while Ed ran around towards the other side.

"What are you planning, Sock Head?" he asked his friend, who was pulling out his slingshot.

"When I give you the signal, run for the locker," Double D whispered. As he set a pebble into the sling, Ed had rounded the corner.

"You shall not operate on my brain, creatures of the night!" he shouted defiantly towards the two bullies. They turned their attention towards the defiant Ed, who smirked at their angry gazes.

"Isn't that the guy that kicked your ass, Wade?" Davis asked.

"Twice..." Wade growled. "Back me up while I pay him back." Davis nodded and followed his friend as they slowly made their way towards Ed, who stood his ground with a large smile. Double D stepped out from the corner and took aim.

"Ready, Eddy?" he asked. Eddy nodded, thinking that if he made a sound that he'd mess up whatever his friend had planned.

_Accounting for a moving target...Velocity of the pebble...Zero cross breeze resistance...Got it, _Double D let the pebble fly towards the back of Wade's head.

Thwack! The sound of the pebble making contact with the back of the bully's head resonated through the halls, only to be beaten by the sound of his body hitting the floor.

"Owowow!" Wade cried out, clutching the back of his head. Davis immediately turned around and saw Double D drawing back another shot.

"Hey, that's my slingshot," he said as Double D let another shot fly. It managed to strike it's target right in the throat, causing Davis to fall to his knees and gasp for air.

"Eddy, go!" Double D shouted. Immediately, the shortest Ed took off towards the locker and wasted little time in picking the lock. While he worked, Ed was busy dragging the bullies and throwing them into the nearby broom closet. He shut the door behind him, smiling as he returned to his friends.

"You're a good werewolf hunter, Double D," Ed said to his friend, giving him a strong pat on the back. While the nerdy Ed was nearly knocked over, he quickly regained his composure.

"I'll keep that in mind for my résumé, Ed," he politely joked. Ed nodded in approval, leading Double D to believe that he didn't get the joke.

"And...done," Eddy said as he did the final turn. He opened the locker and pulled out a red-haired nerd with horn-rimmed glasses and a light green sweater. The Eds quickly untied the ropes, and watched as he spat the sock out.

"Dan thaid he'd look out for me thith year," he complained with a severe lisp. "Who are you guyth?"

"We're the new hall monitors," Eddy said. "Get to class before we write you up for not having a hall pass." Thad wasted no time running off towards his class, leaving the Eds to walk alone.

"Well, that's the end of that misadventure," Double D said as they made their way up the stairs.

"Mission accomplished!" Ed shouted cheerfully, raising his fists up triumphantly.

"Good job, boys," Eddy said. "Now, let's go collect our reward." Ed and Double D nodded as they followed their de facto leader to Melvin's locker. Eddy was pleased to see that he hadn't run off without paying up.

"Greetings, fair knights," Melvin said. "I trust you finished the quest."

"Yeah, yeah," Eddy said quickly. "Verily fast, too. Now cough up the loot."

"Fair is fair," Melvin sighed as he handed Eddy the money. He greedily snatched it away and began to count it.

"Now, if we're done here, I shall be off," the nerd said, casually walking away from the Eds.

"Ten bucks!" Eddy exclaimed. "Soda's on me tonight, boys!"

"How generous of you Eddy," Double D said. "Now, if we may, we should get to class before..."

_RRRIIIIIINNNNGGGGG!_

The sound of the tardy bell rang out through the halls, causing the Eds to jump at the sound. While Ed and Eddy looked unfazed, Double D slapped his forehead in frustration.

"Irony, truly a cruel mistress!" he groaned. "We help others arrive to their classes on time and sacrifice our attendance in the process."

"Big deal, Sock Head," Eddy said. "Let's just go to class now and say we ate a bad breakfast or something. The teacher won't know any better."

"But now I do, don't I?" a deep voice asked. The Eds turned around to see a large prefect with a buzz cut glaring down at them. Before the boys could argue their case, the prefect immediately grabbed them by their collars.

"You maggots should know that class has started," he growled. "By being out of class, you have given me the right to beat you!"

"Beat us?!" Double D repeated in a shocked tone.

"Yes, but luckily for you, I'm tired from the last two evildoers I found hiding in the broom closet," he explained. "Instead, I'll personally escort you to your next class." The prefect then dragged his prey towards the art classroom, opened the door and threw them inside.

"You three consider yourself lucky," he warned. "Next time, you will not escape my wrath." The Eds watched as he slammed the door behind him.

"What a sweetheart," Eddy muttered as he rubbed his neck.

"Yes, Seth has always had problems expressing his emotions," a woman's voice said from behind them. "I could tell in his art. So much raw anger...If only he had the passion for painting." The Eds turned around to see who was addressing them, and soon felt their faces go red hot.

The woman was in her late thirties, but still managed to keep a fair appearance. She wore a leather mini skirt and jacket, a grey sweater, dark nylon stockings and high heels. She leaned over to look the boys in their eyes, unknowingly showing off her mature figure. She gave them a smile, while they stood petrified.

"You must be the three new students," she said. "My name is Ms. Philips, and allow me to be the first to welcome you into the world of art. Please, have a seat anywhere you please." The Eds watched as she strolled over to the head of the class, noticing that the class was filled with all girls, excluding themselves.

"I'm getting that feeling that I get when Nazz is talking to us, Double D," Ed said quietly.

"That's nice, Ed," Double D said.

"I think we might've hit the jackpot with this class, guys," Eddy grinned nervously.

"That's nice, Ed," Double D repeated.

The boys walked over to their table and took a seat. As they got comfortable, Ed came to a sudden realization.

"Eddy, you said she was going to be a mean, old hag," he whispered. Unfortunately for Eddy, his whisper was made audible by the acoustics in the room, allowing everyone else to hear. While the girls began to giggle at Eddy's expense, Ms. Philips turned to shoot a glare towards Eddy.

"Perhaps, Mr. Edward, you would like to see me after class," she said in a serious tone. "We could discuss the dangers of assumptions while you clean the brushes."

"Yes, ma'am," Eddy groaned. He watched as the teacher turned around and returned her focus to her easel.

"You're in trouble, Eddy," Ed laughed, causing Eddy to shoot him an angry gaze.

"Shut up, Ed," he muttered under his breath.

* * *

**It's amazing how efficient someone can be with the proper incentive. In Eddy's case, it's a no brainer. But anyways, tell me...did you have a little fun? Think Double D should become a werewolf hunter? I like to hear opinions, especially if they come in the form of a review.**

**Peace.**


	7. A Little Help

**What happens when you divide by zero? Some believe that the universe implodes at the point of the event. Others say that nothingness reveals its origins. A select few will even swear that a math teacher tells you that you failed the quiz. From my experience, when I divide by zero, I drop another chapter within a few days of the previous one. Enough paradox humor.**

**Enjoy.**

* * *

The school gym had the mats laid out with all the students crowded around. Some of them were dressed up in simple exercise clothing, while a select few were wearing the school wrestling uniform. Even a few of the girls were in their cheerleading outfits, practicing for the upcoming wrestling meet. Their attentions were all focused on the center of the ring, where an overweight wrestler was sprawled out in pain.

"Please...Stop..." he gasped out. The audience turned their gaze towards the opponent, who had finished setting up a table and had jumped on top of it. While he wore his headgear a little crooked, his indiscretion was overshadowed by his indomitable performance in the ring.

"GET THE HECK DOWN FROM THERE, ED!" a balding man with a push broom mustache yelled out as he gestured to the mat with his free hand and his whistle in the other. Ed refused to follow the order, however, and confidently roared and pumped his fists into the sky, focusing intensely on the man.

"The spirits of the warriors have provided me with the ultimate power that will defeat all who challenge our throne!" Ed shouted in a dramatically gruff voice. "We shall not be denied the glory of victory so easily! My strength, your doubt, their cheers, our beliefs, all driving me forward like a rocket ship to the galaxy of true champions, where the worthy are rewarded with what has been and what will continue to be!" He then turned his gaze to his fallen opponent and pointed defiantly at him.

"You, who took the challenge," he growled. "You fought as well as you could, but you do not believe in the power that rests within us. This has led you down the path to your failure on this day. All non believers are doomed to suffer for their crimes, and justice shall be delivered through...THE ERIDIUM ELBOW DROP!" This outburst caused the crowd to burst out in a mixture of cheers and laughter. Eddy and Double D, who were wearing red shorts and yellow shirts with red bull heads on the chest, stood in the front row of the match. While Double D watched in horror, Eddy couldn't contain his excitement.

"GO, LUMPY, GO!" he cheered. "Finish Fatty off."

"Eddy, what did I tell you about insulting people?" Double D chastised.

"That one wasn't me," Eddy explained. "He calls himself that, remember?" Double D thought back and remembered how Ed had delivered a clothesline to the boy and heard him groan, "Another crushing blow to Fatty..."

"I suppose I'll let that slide," he muttered. "Instead, what I will question is the support of Ed's actions in this barbaric display. Everyone is feeding his imagination and pushing him to this point."

"Gotta give the people what they want," Eddy explained. "And right now, they want to see a beat down. FINISH HIM, ED!" Ed nodded and jumped into the air, pitching his body and curving his arm so that his elbow stuck out. He came down, delivering a massive elbow drop to Fatty's rotund midsection.

"OOF!" the nerd grunted as the last bit of wind was knocked out of him, barely audible over the awestruck cheers of the crowd. Ed immediately regained his composure and grabbed Fatty's leg and rolled him into a pin. Eddy, seizing the opportunity, jumped out to the center of the mat and laid down.

"ONE...TWO...THREE!" he shouted as he slapped his hand down on the mat with each count. On the sound of "three", Ed and Eddy rose to their feet while Eddy grabbed his friend by the wrist.

"Ladies and gentlemen, the winner, by way of pin fall...THE ULTIMATE ED!" Eddy announced, raising Ed's arm into the sky. Ed raised his other arm as the other kids began to cheer. Double D approached his friends, a look of disappointment growing on his face.

"Ed, do you realize the level of danger that those moves carried?" Double D asked his friend.

"Don't worry, Double D," Ed said with a shrug. "He's going to be alright. They always are better after matches on TV." Double D stared back at his friend and point towards the fallen nerd. Ed turned his gaze and saw the results of his actions. He immediately felt a wave of guilt, and began to rub his arm nervously.

"Oops..." he muttered. Before Ed could apologize, the bell rang out, prompting the other kids to head for the locker rooms to change and gather their things. Thad and Melvin immediately helped their friend to his feet and escorted him away from the Eds.

"Monsters..." Fatty groaned as he and his allies made their way to the locker room.

"Wait, don't be mad at Ed!" Double D called out. "He's truly sorry for what transpired! He's actually quite harmless!"

"Yeah, like a rabid dog in heat," the gym teacher said sternly. "Where the hell do you get off using that garbage in my ring?"

"You asked me if I knew how to wrestle," Ed explained. "And I said, 'I watch it on TV all the time.' Then you give me these tights and this hat and tell me to wrestle."

"He's got a point, Mr. Burton," Eddy added smugly, causing the gym teacher to slap his forehead.

"That isn't real wrestling, you stupid kids!" he shouted.

"Yes, it is," Ed retorted. "The TV shows were live."

"I don't want to hear it!" Mr. Burton groaned. "Just get out of my face. And you can kiss your chances to join the wrestling team goodbye!" The Eds watched as he walked out of the gym, leaving them to return to the locker room.

"What a jerk," Eddy muttered. "Just like the rest of the teachers around here."

"I thought that Ms. Philips was quite polite," Double D admitted. "From what you said at lunch, she understood that you were acting on past experiences and didn't hold you accountable."

"Alright," Eddy sighed. "She's not that bad. Still, I wasted so much time cleaning all those paint brushes. There must've been a million of 'em."

"I doubt that it was that many, Eddy," Double D chuckled. While they approached their assigned lockers, Ed walked over to the mirror and examined his reflection. He examined himself with great curiosity, then turned to his friends and smiled.

"Do you think I can keep these tights?" Ed asked.

* * *

The Eds walked through the doors of the boys dormitory and immediately looked to see if the TV was occupied.

"Bingo!" Eddy said, jumping over the back of the couch and landing on the cushion. "We got it all to ourselves, boys."

"Cool!" Ed shouted. He did his best to mimic Eddy's actions, and succeeded in the execution. The only thing he messed up on was that he landed right in his friend's lap.

"Gah! Not again!" Eddy grunted. Ed failed to realize that he anything was wrong, however, merely adjusting his position on the couch.

"This couch feels funny, Double D," the tallest Ed said to his friend, who took the time to walk around and sit down normally.

"I believe that you may have sat in something, Ed," Double D said, doing his best to hold back laughter. Ed stood up, looking back to see Eddy gasping for breath.

"Ed, you weigh a freakin' ton!" he gasped.

"Sorry, Eddy," Ed apologized. "You can pick what we watch, if you want." Eddy perked up at the compromise and immediately snatched the remote. Ed sat between his friends and reached in between the couch cushions. He pulled out a slice of old pizza and looked at it with a hungry grin. He closed his eyes and opened his mouth wide. Before he could shovel the slice inside, Double D quickly snatched it away and threw it into the garbage can, barely missing the mighty chomp of Ed's jaws.

"So, this is what you guys do when you aren't getting into brawls with Russell's goons," a familiar voice commented. The boys turned around to see Gary walking with Pete into the room.

"Hi, guys!" Ed cheerfully greeted. "You want some pizza? I think there's more in the couch." As he started to search the cushions, Gary and Pete stared back at him in disbelief and disgust.

"That's ok, Ed," Pete said. "We ate before we came here." Ed shrugged and continued his search. Gary then turned his attention to Double D.

"So, I heard that you three have had a productive last few days," he said. "Got into a fight in the shop's scrap yard and saved some nerd's perfect attendance records, right?"

"That is correct," Double D answered. "But I must ask how you found that out. We haven't spoken to you since yesterday morning."

"News travels fast, friend," Gary smirked. "Especially when you have the right connections. But enough about business, let's talk entertainment. What do we have planned for the evening?"

"Well, there's nothing good on," Eddy muttered, throwing down the remote. "Is there anything else to do around this dump that isn't getting into a fight with a bunch of numbskulls?"

"Well, if you're tired of the day-to-day activities, I heard an interesting rumor that there was a homeless guy that lives somewhere behind the parking lot," Gary suggested. "We could go and see if it's true." Ed and Eddy looked intrigued by the thought of seeing an actual homeless person, while Pete and Double D shared a look that combined feelings of disgust, nervousness, and questioning.

"Why would we want to go and risk getting in trouble with a possibly deranged old man?" Pete asked.

"I'm inclined to agree with Pete, fellows," Double D added. "We have nothing to gain from such a potentially dangerous idea. Besides, it's getting extremely late and..."

"Amazing, Petey," Gary interrupted. "Just when I thought you were the pinnacle of human failure and femininity, along comes a challenger. Or maybe I took a wrong turn and went into the girls dorm by mistake." Pete, Double D, and Ed cringed at the venomous tone that seemed to drip off Gary's words. Eddy, however, rose out of his seat and stood in between Gary and the others.

"What's your problem?" he asked. "You're acting like a total jerk." Gary didn't respond to the comment. Instead, he stared Eddy down, while the smallest Ed refused to flinch at Gary's anger. After a few seconds, Gary smiled and backed away, chuckling slightly as he did.

"You're right," he sighed. "I apologize. I just get a little...overexcited. I'll be better about it, I promise. So...am I forgiven?" He extended his hand out to his friends, all of whom were very reluctant to take it. Eventually, Double D's forgiving nature drove him to be the first to make peace.

"I suppose that no real harm was done," he smiled as he shook Gary's hand. Their handshake prompted Ed to approach Gary, his arms spread wide and ready to deliver a great hug.

"Friendly friends hug for friendship!" Ed said cheerfully. Gary immediately extended his arm and held Ed off.

"I'm not much of a hugger," he explained sternly. "But I know Petey's into that touchy feely stuff." Before Pete could say anything in his defense, Ed had scooped him up and began to use his might to squeeze his friend. The look of surprise and pain on Pete's face caused Eddy and Gary to fall into a fit of laughter

"Too...tight..." Pete gasped. "Please...help..."

"Eddy..." Double D sighed. Eddy immediately wiped a tear from his eyes and snapped his fingers.

"Take five, Burrhead!" he said. Ed immediately dropped Pete, smiling blankly as the boy did his best to reclaim his breath.

"So, are we going to go see if this guy is real or are we going to keep the mush fest going?" Gary asked, gesturing to the door. The Eds and Pete looked towards the door, then back at each other.

"He probably ain't even real," Eddy said. "I say we go."

"Terrible grammar aside, I'd rather not risk the chance of angering the homeless," Double D muttered. "So I say we stay here."

"Two versus one," Eddy commented. "What do you think, Ed?"

"Ed's ready for adventure!" he cheered.

"That's three!" Eddy smirked. "We win. Let's go, boys." Eddy and Ed immediately joined with Gary while Pete shuffled behind them, leaving the smartest Ed behind.

"Pete, you can't possibly believe that this is a good idea," Double D protested.

"Well, it is when the other option is being left behind," Pete admitted. He joined the rest of the group, while Double D crossed his arms and stood his ground. He turned to face his friends, who were silently beckoning for him to join the group.

"Oh, curse the effects of peer pressure," Double D said under his breath as he walked over to the group and joined them.

* * *

"He really did a gorilla press slam on Fatty during gym?" Pete asked in disbelief. The five boys entered the school's parking lot after spending the walk there discussing the wrestling match.

"You should've been there, Petey," Eddy laughed. "Mr. Burton blew a gasket when Ed jumped off of the table!"

"It doesn't take much to get Burton mad," Gary interjected. "Being bald, fat, and a gym teacher keeps him on edge. Still, I guess putting on a show like that was a nice way to push him."

"Show?" Ed asked, turning to Double D. "I thought it was a wrestling match."

"It's a figure of speech, Ed," Double D explained, further confusing his friend.

"What's a..."

"Here it is!" Gary exclaimed, cutting of Ed's question. The Eds and Pete turned their attention towards a broken down bus with broken windows and flat tires. Gary went up to the door and pulled it open. The boys followed him inside, finding only a bunch of worn out bus seats and a hole in the side.

"Oh well," Pete sighed. "Guess he doesn't exist. Let's go."

"Don't piss your pants, Petey," Gary called out. "We need to go through this door to the abandoned lot. That's where he's supposed to be." The boys followed Gary into a fenced area that was lined with barbed wire along the top. They found a small shack in the far corner with a shopping cart and a moldy mattress on its sides.

"Where is this dirty, old perv at?" Gary asked.

"You shouldn't say such rude things, Gary," Double D preached.

"And you shouldn't be such a..." Gary began to say, but was cut off by the slamming of a wooden door. The boys turned to see an old man with a brick in his hand glaring daggers at them. His white beard was stained with alcohol, his pants were held up with a rope and the rest of his clothes were dirtier than Ed's.

"GET OUTTA HERE, YOU SHHCUM!" he slurred as he stumbled out to defend his territory. Fortunately for the Eds, Gary, and Pete, he fell to the ground. Gary laughed while the others looked on in fear as the old man stood to his feet.

"I guess the rumors are true," Gary laughed. "Eddy's dad does live on campus." This prompted the shortest Ed to run towards his antagonizer, only to be stopped by his friends.

"Shut up, Gary!" Eddy shouted, doing his best to break away from Ed and Double D's grasp. While the boys were distracted by their dispute, they failed to notice that the hobo had reared back and let the brick fly towards Gary's shoulder.

"Oooww!" he cried out as he clutched his arm. "Let's leave this guy to his welfare payments! Let's go!" The Eds watched as Gary and Pete fled from the lot, leaving them alone with the old man.

"What do we do now?" Eddy whispered, fear evident in his voice. Ed and Double D merely shook in response.

"Get outta here, you damn kids," the hobo muttered. "Always bothering me when I'm trying to sleep..."

"Sir," Double D began to say. "We had no intention of disturbing you or causing any harm." The homeless man ignored the smartest Ed's plea and began to charge their way.

"I SAID LEAVE!" he shouted, his fist raised and ready to strike the boys down. In an attempt to defend his friends, Ed ran to face the homeless man. He dropped his shoulder and tackled the old man into the grass. Ed rose to his feet and hopped onto a nearby crate, watching the hobo in case he made a move.

"Protecting my friends with the greatest move, Ultimate Ed's ERIDIUM ELBOW DROP!" Ed shouted, jumping up into the air.

"GO, LUMPY, GO!" Eddy cheered, feeling his fear disappear as his friend flew again. Ed extended his elbow and prepared for impact, only to watch as the old man roll out of the way. Double D and Eddy flinched as Ed came down on his elbow with full force, but managed to breathe a sigh of relief as their friend quickly got back on his feet.

"That didn't hurt you, kid?" the hobo asked. Ed responded by shaking his head and putting his fists up.

"I'll fight anyone who wants to hurt my friends," he growled. The Eds stared at the old man in shock as he began to laugh. He walked over to Ed and gave him a slap on the shoulder.

"I like your style, kid," the hobo chuckled. "You got a lot of guts. If we had just one guy like you in my platoon, we could've done better in Korea."

"You fought in the Korean War?" Double D asked.

"Yeah, I fought," the old man muttered. "Fought for my country to watch my buddies get killed by friendly fire! Pah!" He spat on the ground as he finished, turning his attention to Ed.

"You're tough as they come, kid," he said. "But you don't know diddley squat about real fighting. That crap you learned on TV ain't no good for the street."

"It isn't?" Ed asked. "It worked on Fatty, though."

"Anything works on someone who ain't got no ability," the hobo retorted. "It takes skill to fight someone who can meet you on your level! You ain't gonna be able to protect anyone with that stuff."

"What do I do?" Ed asked. The old man scratched his beard, letting out a sly smile.

"Tell you what, kid," he said. "You go and find me an old radio and I'll teach you what the government taught me. Real special ops close quarters combat stuff! What do you say?" Ed opened his eyes wide and smiled ear to ear.

"OH BOY!" he cheered. "I KNOW WHERE TO FIND A RADIO!"

"Then quit wasting my time and get my radio!" the bum shouted. Ed immediately took off, rushing past Double D and Eddy back towards the parking lot. The remaining Eds, fearing being alone with the deranged old man, chased after their friend.

"Ed!" Double D shouted. "Where are you going?" Ed kept running towards the back of the auto shop, ignoring the question entirely. He rounded the corner and disappeared from his friend's sights.

"Slow down, you maniac!" Eddy shouted. They finally caught up to Ed, who was busy digging through the pile of junk that was left over from the wall Davis used during their fight.

"Ed, would you care to explain to us what you're doing?" Double D gasped, bent over trying to catch his breath.

"Looking for the radio, guys," Ed explained. "If I find it, then I'll get to learn moves from the master!" Double D and Eddy stared at each other, then back at their friend, sharing a common look of disbelief.

"I think your eyebrow's cutting off the blood to your brain, Ed," Eddy said. "If that guy served in Korea, then I was his general." Ed stopped his search through the junk pile to stand up and face his friend. He gave him a quick salute and a smile.

"You look young for a general, Eddy," he smiled, causing Eddy to groan in frustration. Ed returned to the junk and began throwing random pieces behind him. After a few minutes, he stopped throwing and held up an old radio that looked like it had seen better days.

"THE MASTER WILL BE PLEASED!" he shouted triumphantly. Ed ran off towards the parking lot, leaving his friends behind once again.

"We need to put a leash on him," Eddy muttered. "Come on, Sock Head." The smartest Ed reluctantly followed his friend as they chased Ed back towards the lot. They managed to get to the front gate, but were stopped as the hobo placed himself in their path.

"I ain't training all of ya," he said sternly. "Just the big one. Either wait for him out here, or get lost!" The next thing that Eddy and Double D saw was the wooden gate slamming just inches from their faces.

"Great," Eddy muttered. "What are we supposed to do now?"

"The only thing we can do, Eddy," Double D sighed as he took an empty bus seat. "Wait."

* * *

The creak of the gate stirred Double D and Eddy from the naps they dozed into. They looked up and saw Ed bowing towards the homeless man, while the latter merely scratched his chest.

"Thank you for sharing your wisdom, Master," Ed said respectfully.

"Thanks for the radio, kid," the hobo returned. "Come back anytime you find another one and I'll teach you more moves." Ed nodded and shut the gate. He turned to face his friends, giving them a big smile. While he was dirty before he reentered the lot, he had managed to make himself dirtier.

"Hi, guys!" Ed cheerfully greeted his friends.

"Hello, Ed," Double D politely returned. "How was your training?"

"Did you learn any 'Special Ops Moves'?" Eddy sarcastically asked.

"Yeah!" Ed exclaimed, oblivious to Eddy's disbelief.

"What could that bum teach you?" Eddy asked with a smirk. "How to collect cans and throw up on yourself?"

"Everyone knows how to do that, Eddy," Ed said while rolling his eyes. "Duh. Master taught me all these cool moves, like...Okay, okay. There's this one move where...If the bad guy stands like this...No, that's not..." Ed clumsily began to retrace his training in an attempt to explain it to his friends, but failed to do so.

"I'm sure that your time was well spent from your perspective, Ed," Double D said, giving his friend a pat on the head.

"Yeah, spent on garbage," Eddy spat. "Come on, let's go back to the dorm." The Eds walked out of the bus and back into the parking lot where a familiar face was waiting for them.

"You think that you beat me yesterday," Ethan said sternly. "You didn't even see my full potential. This time, I ain't holding anything back." The bully held his fists up and waited for his opponents to face him.

"Man, we can't go five minutes..." Eddy muttered.

"I'm certain that if we ran now, we could make it to our room and not have to worry about Ethan for another night," Double D suggested.

"Sounds good to me," Eddy said. "How 'bout you, Lumpy?" While his friends were discussing their escape plan, Ed stepped forward to accept the challenge.

"Face the might of the Devastator," Ethan smirked. Ed just raised his fists and smirked. The bully started the assault, charging after Ed full speed. He threw a wild haymaker, which Ed effortlessly ducked. As Ethan attempted to regain his composure, Ed took the opportunity to deliver a thrust kick to the bully's stomach.

"Oof!" Ethan grunted. Without missing a step, Ed flowed with a sweep kick that put his opponent onto his knee. As Ethan clutched his leg, Ed grabbed him by his head and reared his arm back, sending it back to its target with a massive uppercut. The blow rendered Ethan unconscious before he even hit the ground, much to the amazement of Double D and Eddy.

"Ed...That was amazing!" Double D exclaimed.

"How did you do that, Lumpy?" Eddy asked.

"What do you mean?" Ed asked in a confused tone.

"We should've expected that," Double D sighed.

"Crouching Tiger, Lack of Brain," Eddy groaned. "Alright, boys, let's call it a night." The three friends stepped over the fallen bully and proceeded to walk back to the dormitory.

"This is some school, eh?" Eddy commented. "We got into two fights, found a slingshot, saved nerds from their lockers, and Ed learned how to fight from a homeless man."

"Hard to believe that it hasn't even been a week," Double D chuckled.

* * *

**So much physical violence, I can barely stand it. That's a boldface lie. So, what did you think? Should the boys use more SpecOp Ed or Ultimate Ed? Think the Eds will be able to avoid anymore trouble? Let me know in a review.**

**Peace.**


	8. Defend Bucky

**While typing this next chapter up, I came to a realization. If I manage to hammer out a few chapters, I can coincide the Halloween chapter with Halloween. Now that's definitely something worth doing. Luckily, I only got three chapters standing in the way...and this is one of them. So, let's get this show on the road.**

**Enjoy.**

* * *

The word of Ed's newfound fighting prowess combined with the story of how he had defeated Ethan caused the student body of Bullworth to talk about the Eds in hushed tones that carried mixed tones of respect and fear. While no one was sure if it could be related, the bully clique hadn't been providing the Eds with any trouble for the past week. While Ed didn't show any signs of caring, Double D and Eddy deeply appreciated the peace and quiet. The one thing that they all could understand and enjoy was that they could spend more free time in the common room.

"Seen it!" Ed shouted as he pressed buttons on the remote. What he didn't seem to realize was that he was surfing through the channels that were showing snow. While he blankly made his way through the channels, Eddy was sitting at the poker table set up in the corner with a few members of the Astronomy club.

"I knew that we couldn't trust an invitation to play poker," Donald muttered as he put his cards down slowly.

"I thought that our superior intellect would've given us a better advantage," Fatty sighed, looking pathetically at his dwindling stack of money. The two nerds turned towards the shortest Ed, who was smirking as he thumbed through his winnings.

"It's like I told Double D," Eddy boasted. "You don't need no brains to make a killing in poker."

"It's clear that you need intellect to have a better grasp of grammar," a voice said from the doorway. The four boys turned to see Double D, holding a small envelope in his hand.

"DOUBLE D!" Ed shouted. "You're just in time to watch the reruns!" Double D looked over the couch to see static on the screen. He chuckled slightly and shook his head, immediately going over to Eddy.

"Hey, Sock Head," Eddy said as he shuffled the deck. "Want me to deal you in? Your money's always good here." He laughed heartily as Donald and Fatty hung their heads in shame.

"Eddy, ever since you managed to learn the rules of that game you've tried to get everyone you knew to play along," Double D began. "While I do congratulate you on the commitment, I've refused the invitation every time you offer." Eddy shrugged indifferently and went back to shuffling the deck.

"Besides, I have a letter from Peach Creek that is addressed to all three of us," Double D said with a smile. This grabbed Ed's and Eddy's undivided attention, prompting them to stand up and crowd their friend.

"Did we win a chance to get $10,000?" Ed asked as he looked at the letter in awe. At the sound of money, Eddy greedily snatched the envelope and tore it apart to reach the letter.

"Eddy!" Double D shouted. "Paper cuts!"

"Scissors cut paper, Double D," Eddy said as he pulled out the letter. He looked over the paper quickly, only to toss it behind him in disgust.

"It's a freakin' letter from Sarah and Jimmy," Eddy groaned. Double D knelt down and picked up the letter, surprised that Sarah and Jimmy would take the time to write to him and his friends.

"What does baby sister have to say to Ed?" Ed asked.

"Ahem," Double D cleared his throat in preparation to read, only to see Fatty and Donald staring back at them.

"Pardon me, gentlemen, but this is a private letter," he explained. Before he could say that he and his friends would leave for the privacy of their dorm room, Eddy gestured with his thumb towards the door.

"Yeah, so scram!" he barked.

"But this is the common room!" Donald protested. "You can't throw us out."

"Yeah!" Fatty added. "Besides, we want our money back! I suspect foul play is afoot."

"Are you calling me a cheater?" Eddy asked in a low voice, raising an eyebrow to the two nerds. "I'm sure that Ultimate Ed would disagree..." Eddy's comment triggered Ed to look at the protesting boys and growl, flexing his muscles just like he saw the guys do on TV. While he thought that it was all in good fun, this prompted the nerds to look nervously at each other.

"On second thought," Fatty quickly said. "Bucky probably needs some help with his project."

"I think he's at the library," Donald added. "Let's go!" The two nerds rushed out of the common room and through the main doors, leaving the Eds as far behind them as they could.

"They didn't play along, Eddy," Ed said sadly.

"That's strange," Eddy innocently said. "Maybe next time, Ed."

"The list of deplorable actions that you have shown in the past few minutes is record-breaking," Double D said. "Being rude, using Ed's intimidating stature and overactive imagination to intimidate others, and to top it all off, you managed to successfully cheat Donald and Fatty in poker."

"They can't prove it," Eddy shrugged. "Besides, it takes skill to make it look as good as I do. And you didn't even call me out during the game."

"My belief that your good nature exists allows me to trust you to come clean," Double D explained. Ed and Eddy looked at each other, then bursted out in roaring laughter. Double D shook his head, feeling as if he should have expected that kind of reaction.

"Good one, Double D," Eddy sighed, wiping a tear from his eye. "Come on. Let's just read the letter."

"Fine..." Double D said, bringing the letter back up to his face.

"'Dear Eds, We just wanted you to know how the Cul-de-Sac has changed since you left. The day you three got out, Rolf, Kevin, and Nazz worked together and threw a party in the lane. Rolf made a bunch of weird meat dishes and wouldn't let anyone make dishes that were different from his. Nazz wanted our help in decorating the lane with a lot of balloons and streamers. Kevin brought piñata's shaped like you three and they were filled with jawbreakers. Everyone had a lot of fun. Wish you never come back. Jimmy and Sarah.'"

After he finished reading, Double D looked up solemnly at Ed, who was still drooling at the mention of jawbreakers. Eddy, however, fumed as he grabbed the paper and tore it to shreds.

"Lousy, no-good, rotten..." he muttered as Double D scooped up the paper scraps and threw them into the garbage can. While the shortest Ed continued to grumble, Gary walked into the common room after hearing the letter for himself.

"Seems to me like you three come from a loving home," he remarked, snapping the attentions of the Eds back towards him.

"If by 'love us' you mean want us to fall in a hole, then everyday is Valentine's Day in Peach Creek," Eddy muttered.

"Guess that makes you appreciate this Hell more than where you come from," Gary chuckled.

"I'm sure that comparing the two would be like comparing rotten apples and rotten oranges," Double D half-heartedly joked. While the boys shared a laugh, Algernon walked into the common room.

"Hey, Eds," he said with a friendly smile. The Eds and Gary ceased their laughter and turned to face the nerd. While Ed, Double D, and Eddy looked back at him in indifference, Gary grew a snarky smile.

"Ahh, Pee Stain!" he said. "Good to see you!" Algernon chuckled nervously and did his best to ignore Gary and focus on the Eds.

"Hey, guys, have you seen Bucky?" he asked.

"Fatty and Donald just went to the library looking for him," Double D answered.

"No, he's not there," Algernon said. "He left to go to the auto shop for tools to finish his project and he never came back. Are you sure you haven't seen him?"

"I did not spy with my little eye something that starts with 'B', Algie," Ed rhymed. This caused Algernon to go into a panic.

"Oh no," he muttered. "He wouldn't be taking this long unless the bullies got to him!"

"Well, since you know where Bucky is, why don't you put on some dry underwear and go save him?" Eddy asked.

"I can't go," Algie quickly answered. "I have homework to do...?" He smiled sheepishly at the Eds as he gave his reason. Eddy and Double D raised a curious eyebrow to his flimsy excuse, while Ed nodded as if he understood. After a few seconds of silence, the nerd threw up his hands in despair.

"Okay!" Algernon finally shouted. "I'm frightened! And I'm sure you know that my bladder's too weak for that kind of stress. Please, I'll pay!" The magic word immediately sparked Eddy's interest, causing him to smile.

"Pay?" he repeated. "Algie, you might be socially awkward, but you know how to get your audience's attention. We're in!"

"I agree," Double D added. His willingness caught Eddy by surprise, turning his smile into a look of caution.

"You do, Sock Head?" Eddy asked. "No fight? No lectures? Nothing?"

"I only have one condition," Double D said. "We'll do this favor for free."

"Deal!" Algernon said happily.

"WHAT?!" Eddy shouted. "We aren't a charity here, Double D!"

"If I may interrupt the lover's spat," Gary said. "I say you do it for free. It'll show Russell and his boys how you're not afraid of them. It'll make it easier to take them all down."

"Grrr..." Eddy growled. "Fine! I made a killing today anyway, so I guess I can let this one go."

"Excellent," Gary smiled, before turning to Algernon and putting on an intimidating face. "Now run along, Pee Stain, before you mark the carpet." Algernon immediately turned around and shuffled away.

"Another mission for the LEAGUE OF..." Ed attempted to say, only to have Eddy's hand rise up and shut his mouth.

"You gotta stop that, Burrhead," Eddy moaned. "Let's go."

"Gary, would you like to join us?" Double D asked as he followed his friends to the door.

"Unlike Algie, I got planning I need to do," Gary explained. "Good luck." The Eds nodded and made their way out of the dormitory and towards the auto shop.

"How many times have we had to go to this place to fight someone?" Eddy asked as he led his friends towards their destination.

"Over 9000?" Ed suggested as he took the rear of the formation.

"That would be mathematically impossible, Ed," Double D began to explain. "If we look at the hypothesis by saying that a fight would last ten minutes, and we were allotted twenty minutes to rest and recuperate, and we had eight free hours in our day to focus on fighting..." Eddy stopped in his tracks, causing Double D to follow suit. Ed, on the other hand, wasn't paying attention and walked into his sock headed friend.

"Oh, hey, Mr. Hattrick," Eddy said as he turned around. "Didn't know you were walking with us. I wanted to know...Oh, sorry, Sock Head. You sounded like someone annoying." Double D began to glare at his friend, who returned with a smirk.

"Fine," Double D said. "While we're here, we should decide on a possible strategy for any scenario. Now, should we go through the parking lot entrance or should we go around to the front of..HEY!" Double D was so wrapped up in his planning that he didn't notice that Eddy was leading Ed to the parking lot.

"The first one, Generalisimo!" Eddy called out.

"I should expect this by now," Double D muttered as he ran to catch up to his friends. As they approached the iron gate, Double D noticed something strange. He quickly made his way in front of Ed and Eddy and held his hand out, signalling them to stop.

"What gives?" Eddy asked. Double D didn't answer his friend. Instead he knelt down and pointed towards a strand of string that was taut.

"Something tells me that the bullies set this up to alarm them of any threats," he told his friends.

"Good eye, Double Detective," Eddy said. "Alright, boys. Careful..." He and Double D stepped over the string and peeked out towards some nearby trash cans. They saw a nerd with brown hair parted down the middle, oval lens glasses, and three watches on his arm being pushed up towards the wall while a bat wielding Wade and Davis tormented him.

"Come on, Bucky," Davis taunted. "Don't you want to explain how your little project works?" He followed this up with another shove that knocked Bucky down to the ground.

"It appears that no amount of physical anguish or punishment from the school will ever stop their desire to torment others," Double D whispered.

"Doesn't mean that we can't keep trying," Eddy smiled. "If we can sneak Ed up to them, he can kung fu them into a couple of pretzels. Ok...Ed?" Eddy turned to see that Ed hadn't moved from the spot that Double D stopped him at.

"Ed!" Eddy whispered harshly.

"Yes, Eddy?" Ed asked.

"Want to join the party?" Eddy asked sarcastically.

"I'M BRINGING THE BEAN DIP!" Ed cheered as he rushed towards his friends. Before they could warn him, Ed tripped over the string. As he came down, the sound of mechanical forces echoed throughout the lot. The Eds looked on in shock as the gate shut.

"Ed, you dolt!" Eddy groaned.

"Uh, Eddy..." Double D said, politely nudging his friend's shoulder.

"Not now, Sock Head," Eddy muttered. "We gotta get Ed on this side or we won't be able to sneak those two idiots."

"I'm afraid that isn't an option anymore," Double D said nervously. Eddy turned around to see what his friend was talking about, and saw that the ruckus had alerted Wade and Davis.

"Look who it is," Wade said smugly as he walked over towards Eddy and Double D. "Where's your dumb friend? Busy getting his head stuck in a hole?"

"That doesn't make much sense," Double D said to himself.

"Doesn't matter where that loser is," Wade said. "After I knock you losers out, I'll find him and show him what happens when you mess with Wade Martin!" He pointed the bat towards the two Eds, causing Eddy to scowl and Double D to look on in fear.

"What are we going to do, Eddy?" he asked. "Without Ed's fighting prowess, we don't stand much of a chance."

"We'll come up with something," Eddy said. As he said that, Wade raised the bat and swung it down. Before he could make contact, Eddy and Double D managed to roll out of the way.

"Darn!" Wade growled. While he looked towards Eddy to set up his next swing, the shortest Ed had already managed to get ahold of the bat. The two boys began to struggle over ownership of the weapon, each pulling as hard as he could to get it away from the other.

"Let go!" Wade shouted.

"Fat chance!" Eddy shot back. Even though he was trying his best, Eddy felt that if he didn't act soon that he'd end up losing the struggle. Acting on impulse, he brought his foot up as fast as he could into the groin of his enemy.

"OOOOHH!" Wade cried out in a higher octave, relinquishing his grip on the bat only to focus it onto an area that needed the support. He knelt to the ground, breathing shallow breaths and slowly rocking back and forth.

"That had to hurt," Eddy muttered as he tossed the bat away.

"If he wasn't trying to attack us with a bat, I'd be disappointed in how you assaulted Wade," Double D admitted as he rose to his feet.

"You're welcome, Sock Head," Eddy said gruffly.

"HEY, LOSERS!" Davis shouted. "Did you forget about something?" Eddy and Double D turned to see that Davis was holding Bucky by his shirt collar with a brick in his other hand.

"Do what I say or the nerd ain't going to need braces when I'm done with him!" he threatened. Bucky was rightfully terrified beyond the ability to speak, while the two Eds merely stood defiantly, waiting for the demands.

"First things first," Davis began. "The nerd gives me back my slingshot!" Double D slowly reached for the slingshot, holding it tightly in his hand.

"We can't give it back to that jerk!" Eddy whispered. "He's gonna hurt Bucky anyway!"

"What do you propose we do to prevent that?" Double D whispered back. After taking a few moments to think, Eddy came up with an idea.

"When you see the opening, take the shot," Eddy said. Before Double D could question his friend's plan, Eddy pointed dramatically towards the wall behind Davis.

"FINISH HIM, ED!" he shouted. Davis let go of Bucky and looked behind him to make sure that he was prepared for an attack from Ed. Double D recognized this as the opening Eddy was talking about and loaded a pebble into the sling. He drew back and waited for Davis to realize that Ed wasn't going to be coming while Bucky rushed to the Eds' side.

"What the hell are you talking about?" Davis asked as he turned to face his opponents. His menacing glare turned into a look of shock as Double D released the sling and sent the shot towards its target.

"YEOW!" Davis cried out as the pebble connected with his head. He fell onto his back and clutched his face.

"You're getting a reputation for headshots, Goldeneye," Eddy remarked.

"It's an efficient way to pacify them," Double D explained. The boys turned their attention to Bucky, who was looking back at them timidly.

"Thanks for saving me from those animals," Bucky said.

"You ain't the first one we've helped out, and I'm guessing that you won't be the last," Eddy said.

"Thanks anyway," the nerd replied. "Now, if you can help me get back to the garage, I still need the tools for my project."

"Fair enough," Eddy sighed. "Lead the way." The boys followed Bucky as he made his way towards the garage. They stopped as they saw the gate was shut. Eddy and Double D watched as Bucky crouched down and gripped the metal handles. The nerd strained and struggled as he attempted to lift the gate with absolutely no success.

"Help me open this," Bucky commanded, albeit weakly.

"We ain't getting paid enough for this," Eddy grumbled to himself as he and Double D crouched and grasped the gate. The three combined their forces, and were able to lift the gate up a few feet.

"That's as far as it's going to go..." Double D gasped as he stood to his feet.

"Alright, Bucky," Eddy said. "Go and get what you need. We'll stand guard." Bucky nodded and crawled through the gap, leaving the two Eds outside.

"You know," Eddy wondered aloud. "We did alright without Ed."

"While our results are evidence that our skills have grown," Double D said. "I feel that things would have gone better if Ed was still here." Eddy silently agreed with his intelligent friend while Bucky crawled out with a small bag filled with parts and tools.

"Alright, let's get out of here," Bucky said. The boys ran off towards the front gate, only to stop dead in their tracks. Waiting for them in the junk littered lot were Trent, Ethan, and Troy, all of whom were glaring at the two Eds and Bucky.

"Where do you think you're going?" Trent asked.

"You three ain't going anywhere until you go through us," Troy added.

"Yeah," Ethan said. "First, we're going to destroy you two. Then, we're going to make Bucky wish he stayed at the library. And after all that, when your friend shows up, we'll see just how good he is against the three of us." While the bullies taunted the boys, they failed to notice the shadow of a familiar figure looming over them. The figure, perched on the perimeter wall, took flight and spread its arms and legs out.

"BIG CAT SPLASH!" it shouted, calling everyone's attention to the sky. The bullies couldn't tell who it was, but Double D and Eddy recognized their friend as he flattened his targets. Ed quickly rose to his feet, posing over the bodies of his fallen foes.

"Those who seek the power that my body holds will all fall to their knees in pain!" Ed shouted. "For they suffer the horrible sickness that is known as failing to be...ULTIMATE!" As Ed continued to growl and flex, Double D and Eddy rushed to his side.

"You have no idea how happy we are to see you, Ed," Double D said.

"Yeah, Lumpy," Eddy grinned. "But I thought that you weren't going to do that stuff anymore." Ed broke his character and sheepishly looked to his friends.

"I like both," Ed said simply. "Buttered toast and gravy can be on the same plate. So, I can use Master's training and wrestling and make a new style. I think I'll call it the ULTIMATE STYLE!" He put his hands on his waist in a super pose, leaving his friends chuckling at his antics.

"Fair enough," Eddy said.

"And very philosophical, if I might add," Double D said.

"Phil is topical?" Ed asked, causing Double D to shake his head in frustration.

"That lasted longer than I thought," Eddy smirked. "Let's get outta here." The boys went over towards the still shut gate, where Bucky was standing.

"Did one of you trip the string on your way in?" he asked.

"Yeah," Eddy said. "Don't worry. Ed!" Eddy snapped his fingers, prompting Ed to approach the gate. He grabbed the doors and pulled with all his might. After he failed to open it, he turned around and faced his friends, disappointed in himself.

"It won't move, guys," he informed.

"What gives?" Eddy asked. "You could open the other one before."

"That's what I was trying to tell you," Bucky said. "I set up that trap to lock the gate in case I was followed, I could lock them in when I ran." Double D and Eddy stared at the nerd, both not able to believe what they heard.

"And you didn't think that someone could've ended up locking you inside?" Double D asked.

"Oh! Oh!" Ed shouted, waiving his hand. "Let me! ...That was stupid."

"You got that right, Monobrow," Eddy huffed. "And now, here we are, stuck in the junk yard with a bunch of tools, and I ain't talking about the one's in the bag! WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO?!"

"DAMMIT!" an old man's voice cursed from the other side of the gate. The sound of the metal lock on the gate tumbling put the Eds on the defensive, preparing for whatever could be waiting for them. As the gate flew open, the boys were greeted with the sight of the hobo hawking and spitting.

"MASTER!" Ed shouted cheerfully. The hobo wiped his mouth and glared at the Eds and Bucky.

"You got another radio for me, kid?" he asked gruffly, to which Ed responded with a shake of his head and a smile. The hobo adjusted his rope and scratched his stomach, shaking his head.

"Then keep it down!" he spat. "Can't even sleep anymore..." He continued to grumble as he made his way back to the broken down bus.

"Master comes through for us yet again!" Ed said with a smile.

"You must be proud to be under his tutelage, Ed," Double D grinned.

"Hey, where's Bucky?" Eddy asked. The boys turned their heads to see that Bucky was walking towards them with a skateboard in his hands. The grip tape was worn down, the wheels looked a little rusty, and the deck art was scratched.

"Thanks guys," Bucky said. "Here. Take this. It's been sitting around here all year. Maybe you guys will find a use for it."

"Dibs!" Ed shouted as he snatched the old board. Double D and Eddy had no intention of fighting their friend for ownership, neither one trusting the piece of wood. The Eds watched as Bucky grabbed his tools and made his way out of the parking lot.

"Guess this job wasn't a total waste," Eddy commented. "Ed got a new toy."

"More like a worn out, possibly dry-rotted health hazard," Double D said. "Are we even sure he can ride that thing?" Eddy smirked and pointed towards the parking lot. Double D followed the direction of the finger to see Ed skating with ease.

"It works, guys!" Ed called back to his friends.

"Will he ever cease to amaze us?" Double D asked.

"You gotta love him," Eddy replied.

* * *

**Well, another chapter, filled with violence and fury. But you know...I'm starting to get the feeling that the fighting is getting to be too much on a lot of us. Maybe we need to go towards the other side of the spectrum. Here's a hint: What's the opposite of hate? Reviews make my world a little brighter, just so you know.**

**Peace.**


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